Life's Struggles
by DeltaBot
Summary: Is life fair? Is there such a thing as Justice? Who decides what is just and what isn't? Follow Chris, as he, and by extension myself, try to discover the answer to those. This is a Warframe fanfic I've decided to write trying to expand the universe a bit and bring a little heart to it. Hope you all enjoy
1. The Grineer

**A/N: Hello all. This is my first fanfic. It's mostly free writing that I proofread so don't be too hard on it. I've wanted to write this story for a while now and finally got around to it. Sort of a break from an original piece I'm working on so make sure you leave a review, I want all the feedbacks, and enjoy. (P.S. for those of you who have read this already, I changed Tucker's name to Jacob)  
**

Fires burned as I ran. I didn't know where the fires came from; I just knew I had to get home. I was on my way home from class when something hit the ship I've spent my whole life on. A few minutes later, I could hear shouting, explosions and a lot of shooting as everything around me began to burn. I stood, stunned, for a few minutes until one thought filled my mind: home. My parents, my little sister. They were home today. I had to get home. My dad had been a soldier before he met my mom. If I got home, I'd be safe.

5 minutes later, I was careening through my neighborhood, running between houses and climbing over fences like I'd done so many times with my friends, only this time I was running for my life. The destruction hadn't spread to the living area yet and things were mostly quiet, but there were hundreds of people out in the walkways, gathering for evacuation.

"Chris!", someone shouted. My head whipped around and I saw my best friend, Jacob, and his parents. His dad was the one who called me. "Your parents are still at your house waiting for you. Hurry!"

"Thanks Mr. Coates." My house was only about 30 meters away. Mr. Coates must have called them because as soon as I approached the door, it slid open and my mom burst out, rushing towards me.

"Oh my god Chris are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm okay", I replied burying my head into my mother's chest. I hadn't realized I was crying, but now I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Pulling myself away from my mom, I saw my dad standing behind her, holding my sister's hand and carrying a large suitcase. "Dad what's going on?"

"The Grineer are attacking and we have to evacuate."

"What!? No…" I'd heard of Grineer attacks, but those were always on other ships, not ours. "Why would they do that?"

His face softened. He almost looked like he wanted to cry, but he didn't. He just shook his head, "I don't know."

A short time later we were walking next to the Coates'. I walked next to Jacob holding my sister's hand while Mr. Coates and my father were talking in front of us. My dad was intense with his eyes drilling into the other man and speaking barely above a whisper. The sounds of fighting were getting louder as we walked. It was moving towards us faster than we were moving to the escape pods.

"Chris", my sister said almost too quietly to hear, "did you see any of the Grineer?"

"No Amanda", I said back.

"I'm so glad you made it back alive. Mommy was so scared. Daddy wanted to leave to look for you but the soldiers wouldn't let him." She looked terrified and her eyes were puffy and red. I was trying to be the big brother and look brave for her, but I was just as afraid as she was.

"I think we'll be okay, dad won't let anything happen to either of us."

It was right then Jacob pulled my sleeve. "What?"

"I couldn't hear what else they said, but I heard 'Tenno'."

"What!?" Both of us looked at our fathers in wonder. We'd both heard so many stories about the undefeatable warriors. The mystical soldiers who were masters of all weapons and martial arts. If we ever met one, be quiet and avoid confronting them. "Why would they be talking about Tenno", I whispered.

"Maybe there's one here."

"Then we'll be okay!"

"No… that might be what drew the Grineer here." Jacob looked angry. He was almost 2 years older than me, so I'd always trusted what he said. I looked at the ground between my feet and sighed.

My sister then exclaimed, "oh no!"

"What is it", I asked.

"I left Buffy at home!" I smiled at Amanda. I couldn't think of a funnier thing to say at a time like this. Buffy was her stuffed puppy. She always had that with her. "It will be okay. Soon, after the soldiers clean off the ship, we can come back."

"Promise?"

"Yes." My mom then walked up next to us.

"Don't worry boo", she said reaching for her bag, "I would never let you leave without him." Tears began welling up in my sister's eyes and she snatched the small fuzzy animal from my mom.

"Thank you so much mommy." At that moment everything seemed like it would be alright.

Then, suddenly, another explosion made the ship shudder and everyone was thrown to the floor. Grineer began flowing towards us from the direction of the escape pods and everyone began screaming. The Grineer were large, disfigured and ugly humanoid creatures that looked like at some point they had been humans. Everything fell into chaos as people began scrambling to get away from the terrifying monsters. I couldn't believe what I saw. Neighbors, so called friends, were trampling one another to get away. No one cared for anyone but themselves and maybe their families. I saw several people get knocked back down and run over. I saw someone thrashing on the ground while being bludgeoned by people's feet.

My father and Mr. Coates were different though. Since they'd both been soldiers for a long time they stayed calm. My father drug Jacob and I to our feet while my mother picked up my sister and we all ran across the crowd towards a large building. We all raced through the door. Mrs. Coates was the last one in and slammed it shut. Then we heard the Grineer open fire. It was the most awful noise I'd ever heard. Loud, sharp cracks accompanied by screaming and what I could only guess was dozens of people falling.

"Get away from the door", Mr. Coates shouted. We all backed away and followed him through the building to the back. "We have to get to the escape pods", he said. My father had a short conversation with him before they continued, moving to the back of the structure.

We exited into a walkway lit by fires burning all around, the cries of dying people and gunfire muffled now. My sister was in full blown tears and both my and Jacob's mothers look flustered and scared, but my father and Mr. Coates seemed confident. After 15 minutes of sneaking around, we were out of the living area and into the ship's industrial sector where most people worked. The escape pods were on the other side of it, but the fighting sounded louder here. I felt like trying to go straight through this area was a bad idea, but my dad didn't seem to want to find another path. We continued towards the sounds of fighting. Something scared me about the sounds though, and I couldn't figure out what. Then it hit me, they weren't getting farther away, but they were getting quieter. And I had no doubt that was because the Grineer were killing the ship's guards. Why were they doing this? Why did they have to attack my home? I glanced at Jacob. He didn't seem to be thinking the same thing. He was so focused on following our fathers, he seemed to almost be on autopilot.

When we were about 100 meters from the other end of the industrial area and the escape pods a shape appeared at the end of the path we were on. It was Grineer. Without hesitation he raised his gun and started shooting. My sister screamed as we all ran. I was terrified. I ran as fast as I could, jumping from one side of the walkway to the other. I didn't know why, I just felt like I was supposed to. As we reached a break in the path I heard an awful scream and something heavy hit the ground. I clambered around the corner followed by everyone but my mom. I looked back out into the alley to see my mom lying face down with red fluid spreading around her, and several holes in her back.

"MOM", someone screamed. It took me a moment to realize it was me. I tried to run out to her, but my dad caught me, holding me back. "Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" I turned and looked at him. Tears were streaming down his face like I'd never seen before. My dad never cried. He was too strong, but now he looked like I felt.

"We have to go", he choked out. I still wanted to run out there. To hug my mom. She would be alright wouldn't she? She was such a good mom, there's no way anything bad could happen to her. She was always home to help me with my homework. She was a great cook and she cared about my sister and I more than anything. Nothing bad could happen to someone that good!

"She's still alive dad." "She's still alive right?" He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a sob. He shook his head, looking at the ground between us. "No! She's going to be fine we have to go get her", I screamed. My dad put his arms around my sister and I and pulled us into an embrace.

"I can't lose you too. Please do as I say." I wanted to push away from him. I wanted to feel my mother's warm embrace. See her bright smile. But all of that was gone. I nodded.

A few minutes later, I was following Mr. Coates down another walkway this one on the other side of the industrial area. We were coming up to a junction which would take us back to the pods. My mind was blank. I was numb. My mom was dead. I couldn't think, couldn't feel. I didn't notice Mr. Coates stop in front of me. I stopped myself just behind him as he peered around the corner. His shoulders slumped. I knew that wasn't good. My dad came up and looked too. He let out a sigh and swore. I didn't know what they saw but it was bad. I'd lost half of my world a few minutes ago. I couldn't think of what else could happen. And in that instant the rest of my world was stolen.

I heard a lot of heavy footsteps coming towards us and I turned to see 5 or 6 Grineer round a corner 20 meters away and begin shooting. I felt someone shove me down an opposite path from the escape pods. I turned as I fell and I saw my father, the strongest person in my life, the one person who I could always count on to support me and hold me up, filled with bullets. It happened in slow motion: my sister was falling with me into the protection of a different path. My father's hands outstretched, determination and love in his eyes. All these monsters around, and the only thing he could think of was saving my sister and I. I couldn't think. Couldn't process what happened. It was like watching a movie. I didn't know what to make of it. All I was able to do was listen to my body's one instinct: RUN!

I grabbed my sister's hand and began running as fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going but I knew I had to run. When I couldn't run anymore, I slowed to a stop, gulping air. My sister was frozen. A moment later, Mr. Coates and Jacob stopped next to us.

"Mr. Coates…." I looked around quickly, "where's Mrs. Coates." Neither of them answered and I knew it was the worst. All of us must have been in shock. The heavy footsteps came again.

"You three need to run", Mr. Coates said, "Jacob, take care of them."

"Dad… no please, you can't do anything."

"I might be able to give you a few more seconds. You're a responsible kid, and just remember, both your mother and I love you more than you can imagine and no matter what happens, that love will never leave you. The same goes for you two." "Your parents love you Chris and Amanda. Now go." I couldn't do anything but listen to him at this point, so I nodded and ran.

We ran and ran and ran. Neither Jacob or I knew where to go, but we just had to run and it was that which got us caught. We ended up going into a dead end and before we could backtrack, another explosion collapsed a building behind us. We became stuck with 3 buildings and a pile of rubble on all sides. There were fires everywhere. This was it. I let my father and Jacob's father die in vain to protect us. A moment later, another explosion emerged from the building that had been at the end of the walkway, trapping us. It threw the three of us against the pile of rubble. I groggily got to my feet.

"We're just kids. WHAT DO YOU WANT", I screamed at the buildings, the ship, the air, life… the Grineer. I felt helpless. I was going to burn to death as a 10 year old. Never experiencing life, never getting a chance. I was mad at life. It hadn't been fair. What did life want? What am I supposed to do? Why did the Grineer have to come here?

"Chris…" I heard Jacob say, barely loud enough to hear. I turned towards him and saw him kneeling over my 6 year old sister. The most adorable, beautiful, innocent, sweet, caring and lovable person in the galaxy, laying on the ground with her arm and neck bent at odd angles. And I knew… Time stopped. I couldn't hear anything, couldn't feel anything, couldn't SEE anything but my little sister's…. My sister's little broken body…. Laying on the ground amidst rubble and fire…

"No…. no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO!" I repeated over and over rushing over to her. Carefully cradling her in my arms. "NO! NO! NO!" I was crying uncontrollable. At that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the Grineer, not the thousand who had probably died, not my home which was more than likely destroyed, not Jacob, not the fact I was trapped and probably going to die. Not even… not even the fact I'd lost both of my parents. My sister, who had never hurt anyone in her entire life, who could only think of other people had been killed by these monsters. "Why", I sobbed, "she never did anything wrong." I choked on my saliva. "SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!" I couldn't breathe. I didn't know if it was the smoke or not. I didn't care. My world was myself, and the small broken body in my arms.


	2. A second Chance

I felt like I sat there for days, crying over my sister. My entire world had been taken from me and what had I done to deserve it? I eventually felt numb and sick. We were still trapped but the fires weren't closing in on us. Great, so we'll get to suffocate instead of burning to death. I carefully laid my sister's head back on the ground and stood.

"Are you okay", Jacob asked.

"No, but I can't cry anymore."

Jacob nodded and looked around, "Do you want to try and find a way out of here?"

"I-" I had to ask myself: did I want to live anymore. If not, I could just sit here and wait for the Grineer, or the fire or the smoke to take me. But is that what I wanted? The Grineer had taken everything from me. Am I going to let them completely erase myself and my life? They'd taken everything from me but my life. I'm going to use that to take everything from them.

"Yes." I had a burning desire to survive. A need to live through this. Somehow I would. I picked up Amanda's Buffy and tucked it in the waistband of my pants.

I became completely focused on my one goal. Survive. For the moment, I forgot about my beautiful little sister laying a few meters from me, my parents gunned down by these freaks. I was going to get through this. We began looking around our prison for a way out. Finding nothing after 5 minutes, I got nervous. The air was getting thick and hot. It wouldn't be much longer before we couldn't breathe.

"Jacob, I think our only choice is to climb through the rubble."

"Back the way we came?"

"No, through the building. If we can shift some of the smaller pieces, we might be able to make an opening to get through."

He nodded and we climbed to the top. I could see into the building in several places, it was made of concrete so it wasn't on fire, but it would be difficult to move enough to make an opening large enough for us. There was one which looked promising. The building looked like a warehouse of some sort. The hole was on the second floor. The problem was it had two large pieces of rubble stacked one on top of the other blocking most of the opening. We couldn't move them without getting crushed when they fell. We needed something long to get leverage on it. Rummaging through the rubble, I found a length of metal.

"Jacob, help me wedge the pole under this rock so we can move it", I said pointing at the hole I'd found.

"Okay." He was still in shock. I could understand that, but I was so focused on surviving, I don't think I had the capacity to be in shock right then.

We got the pole under the rubble and _pulled_ but it didn't budge. I adjusted my hold and we tried again. This time I was only rewarded with slipping and taking the skin off of my right shin. I stopped and let go of the pole.

"We need to take load off of the top of this piece", I said looking about it. There was only one piece of rubble resting on it. I took the metal and shoved it behind that one and repeated. This time the rock gave and tumbled to the ground, but more fell into its place. That one had been holding up more of the building but these pieces were smaller.

"I think we might be able to move it now." Jacob hadn't moved. "Jacob are you okay?" His eyes found me. They were completely hollow, devoid of life and color. I limped over to him. "Hey man we have to do this."

"Why?" "We aren't going to make it."

I got mad. "No! We are going to survive. These… these freaks have taken almost everything from us, we can't give them our will too."

"I don't care if I die. My parents are dead. I've got nothing left."

I set the pole down and sat. "Sit down for a sec." He almost dropped into a sitting position next to me.

"Did you love your parents?" My tone made it clear the question was more of a challenge. I saw something flare in his face.

"Of course I did."

"Why would you give up then? They died for YOU! You giving up means what they did for you doesn't mean anything! Who is going to remember them if we die. Who is going to remember my parents!? Who will remember my little sister!?"

By this point I was screaming at the top of my lungs. "The Grineer don't deserve that. They don't deserve the power to be able to take that from the universe. They don't deserve to control our wills. That means they can take anything from anyone at any time. They don't deserve that power"

Lowering my voice I continued, "we DESERVE to survive because our parents love us. They gave up everything for us. We need to survive because they wanted that more than anything, we need to survive so we can make these freaks pay for what they've done to us." At that point it dawned on me. Right now, I was being driven only by hatred. By revenge.

"No… never mind, not to make them pay, but to help keep this from happening to other kids like us."

"How are we going to fight the Grineer?"

"I don't know and right now that's not important. The most important thing right now is living. Whatever happens next happens, but we have to survive now. You love your parents. I love mine. Let's make sure we show them that by living so they know we value what they did for us." Jacob still looked like he was in shock, but some color had come back to his face and eyes. He nodded. I stood and stuck out my hand, "okay?"

A grin flickered across his face, "okay", he said as he grabbed my hand.

We cleared as many of the smaller rocks from the hole as we could, then wedge the pole behind the top boulder again and pulled. Slowly it shifted and fell to the ground with a loud boom. The second one followed and I found myself staring into a long hallway lit by fires from the outside. The sounds of fighting were gone, replaced by screams coming from all across the ship.

We walked through the building until we found a set of stairs going to the bottom floor. We took them carefully, making sure we didn't make any noise. Once we got down, we found the ground floor was a maze of boxes and large machines. Everything was dark down there. There were almost no windows so no light got in and all of the power was out. Every time I saw a shadow, I thought it was Grineer. The two of us wandered for what seemed like forever, both of us jumping at each sound. The air was suffocating and the silence was like a heavy blanket.

We were close to the front door when we heard heavy footsteps coming towards us. "Crap", I said as we moved back into the maze. Accompanying the pounding was a guttural sound which might have been them speaking. The footsteps stopped at the entrance. I could see 3 silhouettes against the fiery background. Back we went until we could no longer see the door. Then I heard the footsteps enter the warehouse and dread knotted my stomach. We turned and hurried as quietly as possible farther into the building. The footsteps still came. If they found us we'd be dead immediately. We had to find a way around them and out into the walkway.

We tried to stay quiet and as far away from the Grineer as possible. Why did they come in here? Did they know we were here? Something clanged on the opposite side of the room loud enough to echo throughout the warehouse. The Grineer stopped and began heading towards the sound. The knot in my stomach loosened a bit. We had a little more room. As Jacob and I started back towards the entrance, I heard a snick and whoosh so quiet I almost missed it. Immediately following it there was a scream and something very heavy hit the floor. The Grineer burst into shouting, but were soon quieted.

"What was that", I whispered. Jacob shook his head.

We crept forward, eyes wide. I was more scared now then I had been when it was the Grineer. At least I knew what they were. There was another clang, this one very close to us. I froze in fear. My legs wouldn't move; what happened to the need to survive? I needed to MOVE.

"No need to be afraid", someone said from behind me, "you aren't in danger." Both Jacob and I screamed and turned to face the voice.

"Quiet", it said. The voice belonged to some… alien. It was around 2 meters tall with strange looking armor I could only describe as something from one of the old ninja movies my mom liked to watch, complete with a sword, katana I think, on its waist.

"I'm going to get you two out of here, but I need you to work with me okay?" Both of us nodded my tongue was still stuck.

"Good. Are either of you hurt?"

"No", Jacob replied quietly.

"What do we call you", I asked finding my voice.

"My name is Antwan and I am an Ash Warframe driver. Tenno." Jacob and I looked at each other and then back at the Tenno. I couldn't believe what was happening.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but we need to go." With that he pulled a rifle off of his back and led us to the building's entrance.

I wanted to stop and ask a thousand questions but I couldn't. All I could do was follow behind the warrior. Of all the things that have happened to me in the past two hours, this might have been the most shocking. My mind was moving at a million miles an hour but I had one question I HAD to ask.

"Mr. Tenno, were you here before the Grineer came?"

The man came to a stop as he peaked around a corner, "first, the name is Antwan." He paused for a moment before answering. "Yes, I was here for 3 days before they attacked." He looked at me; I could feel his eyes drilling into me from behind the almost featureless helmet.

"Yes, they are here for me." I'd already guessed that but I wanted to be sure. His intensity immediately diffused my anger, there was no way I could argue with the Tenno.

"Stay here a moment won't you?" With that he rounded the corner. I didn't even have the energy to look and see where he was going.

"You were right", I said.

"Doesn't make me happy."

"Should we wait here for him."

"We don't have a choice." I knew he was right but I wanted to blame the armored man for everything I'd been through. It was his fault after all, but I couldn't. He seemed to be genuinely sorry for what happened, and he was helping us now. He didn't intend to cause all of this did he?

I heard more gunfire, but this was different. More subdued than Grineer rifles. A moment later Antwan was back. "Let's go. There are more Tenno clearing out the rest of the Grineer. We should have the ship secure in a few hours, but for now we need to get to a protected area."

Clearing out the Grineer? But there were so many of them. The ship's guards stood no chance. We followed him down the path he'd cleared. On it were at least a dozen dead Grineer.

"Holy crap", I said. I looked at our guardian. I don't know if I was in awe or disgust, but I was impressed.

"By the way", the Tenno said, "well done getting your friend back on his feet. Chris right?" I didn't have to ask how he knew my name. He must have been listening to us in the dead end. "Was that your sister's", he asked pointing to Buffy. I looked down at him. I'd almost forgotten about the stuffed animal.

"Yes. It was her favorite stuffed animal."

"I'm-", he started but it sounded like his voice caught in his throat and looked away from me for a moment. He let out a shudder before speaking again, "I'm so sorry Chris. Just know revenge isn't a path you can follow. I know. The Grineer are just clones. No one will ever miss them if they die."

"I'd already decided not to sir." I looked up at my savior, "but I'm not going to let them do this to anyone else."

"Admirable, but don't become obsessed. It will only yield more sorrow." He spoke with the tone of someone who knew exactly what they were talking about.

Antwan slowed his pace for a moment, ending up walking between Jacob and I. "And what's your name young man?"

"Jacob."

"Everything I said to Chris applies to you too. If there was anything I could do to reverse the damage done, including give my life, I would." Jacob looked like he wanted to be angry, but instead of intensity, it was the Tenno's sincerity which diffused Jacob's rage. He just nodded and continued walking.

A few minutes later Antwan spoke again, "we're almost there. I'll introduce you to Stella, a Trinity driver. She'll take care of you from here on. I have to go back out and look for more survivors."

"Thank you Antwan", I said. He nodded.

A moment later we approached a large building with two of the ship's guards as well as a Tenno at the entrance. Antwan led us inside and we found ourselves in the idle of another warehouse. Everything had been pushed to the edges while the middle was occupied by maybe 150 of the ship's inhabitants. Antwan waved at someone and we saw a figure in a red Warframe detach itself from the throng of people. This suit of armor was red and black with what almost looked like a skirt over the warrior's upper legs and green light emanating from the helmet.

"Antwan", the Tenno said, a woman.

"Hi Stella. This is Chris and Jacob. I found them in the industrial district." Stella knelt down in front of us. "I hope Antwan hasn't cause you too much trouble. He has a habit of making messes."

I couldn't help but crack a smile, "it's safe to say he made a pretty big one."

I saw her steal a glance at our escort, "I can't tell you how sorry all of us are about this."

"I know."

"What about you Jacob, how are you holding up."

"I guess as well as I could be expected to." Something about this Tenno put me at ease. She seemed kind and caring. She didn't seem like a warrior.

"How old are you two?"

"I'm 10 and Jacob is 11."

Antwan cocked his head, "10? Wow, I'm impressed." He quickly recounted the events prior to our arrival.

Stella nodded, "I'm impressed as well young man."

"I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to let Jacob die."

"Regardless, you were incredibly brave."

"Thank you", I said, a little embarrassed.

"Well I will leave you in Stella's capable hands", Antwan said. With that my savior exited the warehouse once again.


	3. The Tenno

About an hour later, Jacob and I had found ourselves a quiet office on the second floor. Stella gave me a little handheld radio just in case anything happened. It wouldn't, but I think she just wanted to make me feel like I was helping. After Antwan left, Stella had immediately noticed the large scrape on my leg. Somehow she healed it in a few seconds after a bright flash from her armor. It surprised me, but it didn't have the same effect I think it would have had I not been through everything else that day.

"It's over", Jacob said. The fighting hadn't lasted long, but I knew what he meant. Both of us lost everything in a matter of minutes. The last few hours might as well have been years. "What do you think will happen now?"

I shook my head. "I just know I can't stay here. I can't do much now, we're both still kids, but I want to become someone who can make a difference. Someone with power."

"You don't sound like yourself", Jacob said laughing. It wasn't a happy laugh. It sounded like it came from someone who was tired and couldn't do anything else.

"Well, I guess stuff like this can change people. No one is going to look out for us now. We have no family, no friends. They're all…", I had to take a deep breath. "They're all dead."

Saying it somehow made it more real than it had been. Tears welled up in my eyes. Everything was blurry and I felt a sadness creep up from the back of my mind. It was like a bottomless well I was sitting on the edge of. It would be so easy to fall in. It would be so easy to lose myself in it. So much easier than trying to continue surviving. I had no one to survive for anymore did I? I found myself looking into that pit. Falling in would essentially mean an end to my life. I'd been so focused until now, I hadn't noticed it. Why had this happened to me? What had I done wrong? It dawned on me. At 10 years old I'd lost my innocence and the ugly reality of life had exposed itself to me. I hadn't done anything wrong, but life didn't care. It could take something from someone whenever it felt like. Life didn't need a reason. Blackness… Just… blackness filled my mind. I didn't want to be in a life that made no sense. Life made sense when I was in my mother's warm embrace, or when my father and I were playing catch, or when I was reading to my little sister. None of those things could ever happen again. I leaned over the edge of the well. So easy… I could fall in and die. I don't know if I'd be with my family, but I wouldn't have to be without them… I leaned a little farther. I could just fall… I wouldn't have to hold myself up anymore. Falling would be easier than anything now; I had no one to hold me up anymore. I loosened my grip on the edge. Yeah… I could just fall now… Then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Jacob staring at me intently. "You're looking into the pit aren't you?" I just nodded.

"You pulled me out Chris. Do you remember what you said to me?" I nodded again. "Just think about those words. You said it perfectly. We deserve to continue living." I wiped my eyes.

"Please don't go in Chris. You have so much left to do. It would be easier, but would it be right?"

"But… how are we supposed to fight life? It doesn't care about us."

"Life screwed us Chris. It screwed us in the worst way possible, but the same things goes for life that you said about the Grineer. It doesn't deserve to kill us too. Don't give it that power." I stared into his face for a moment. I saw someone who was tired and scared, but determined. I saw what I had felt during our flight from the Grineer. His expression jolted me out of my stupor.

I stood from the edge of the well and stared into it again, but this time not with willingness, I stared into it with anger. Jacob was right. I'd forgotten my promise, but my will to survive was stronger then the pull of that… damn well! I spit into it, turned and walked away. It wouldn't tempt me again. "Screw life", I said. "SCREW LIFE!" That felt good. SO good. I felt like I had taken my will back from the grasp of life. I felt like I finally had some power over life. Jacob smiled.

"I have an uncle who is a merchant and 'information broker', whatever that is", Jacob said, "we can live with him I think." I started to nod, but something insane entered my mind. Something completely absurd… so crazy, it might even be crazier than the last 3 hours.

"Jacob… I think I know what that means. An information broker is someone who sells hard to get information. We can use that to make a difference, but we need someone who can make a difference with it. Not just someone who can pay for it." He cocked his head to the side.

"Like the Tenno", I finished. His eyes widened. "You saw what Antwan was able to do. Those guys have real power. They're more powerful than any of these ship's armies. Way more."

"So you want to get my uncle to give them info on the Grineer." I could feel my eyes twinkle with excitement, my lips spread into a feral grin.

"No. I work for the Tenno. Maybe even become one." Jacob just stood there.

"That sounds like an interesting proposition." The voice came from the other side of the doorway. I recognized it as Stella.

"You were listening", I squeaked, embarrassed.

"Yes, I felt something wasn't right up here, so I came up to check on you. I heard your whole conversation. Well done Jacob, I think you saved Chris's life." Stella walked to me and knelt so her head was just below mine. The Tenno's helmet retracted into her armor and I saw her face for the first time. She was human. That didn't surprise me as much as it should have. She wasn't beautiful, but she was pretty. At first I was nervous, but I swallowed the knot and stood my ground, staring back into her hazel eyes. After a short pause, a grin spread across her face.

"You have a lot of fire in you. You'll need that. You're a motivated kid. I think we'll see how long that motivation can hold out. If you can develop discipline to go along with that you might have something."

"Huh?" She stood and her helmet reconstructed over her face.

"Both of you come with me."

Stella led us downstairs and to the back of the building. There was another, larger office with a single Tenno inside wearing a similar armor to Antwan. However this one had a different helmet, lines down the body and was white with gold trim. Stella knocked on the doorway as we entered.

"Jorge, these two children are Jacob and Chris." Jorge was a little smaller than Antwan, but he seemed to have a presence about him.

"Pleasure to meet you." He spoke with an odd accent, his words were very carefully pronounced.

"This isn't your first language", I blurted out. I don't know why I did that it was just a random observation. Jorge straightened from his position leaning over the table.

"Yes, you're right. Tell me how did you know that."

"Uhh…" He nodded towards me. "Well… your accent is a little off, your 'p's sound a little too pronounced, and you are very careful about how you speak. Stella and Antwan didn't have that same sort of accent, so I don't think that's something you all share…"

The Tenno nodded again, "quite. Stella, why did you bring them?" It didn't sound like he was accusing her, it was just a question.

She explained what had happened upstairs and what she thought of me.

"What of their parents?"

My back stiffened. "They're dead." I could feel the Tenno leader (I think) studying me.

After a moment of silence he said, "I'm always willing to accept new apprentices if they aren't wasting my time. Stella, you believe this young man, Chris, is worth the effort?"

"Yes."

His gaze never left me, "well then, I agree with Stella: we shall see if your motivation and discipline can be molded into something which can be used by the Tenno."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You… I… I might be able to become a Tenno?"

"It is a possibility, yes", Jorge replied, "but saying very few make it is the largest understatement I could make." I felt a fire burning in my stomach.

"Sir, I will go as far as it takes. This is what I live for now. I have no family and outside of Jacob, no friends. I know he is going to be okay. I have no other option; It's either win or die." I couldn't believe I was saying that. Even to myself that sounded ridiculous. In my mind though, I was now a part of the Tenno order.

"Very well", Jorge said, "we have weeded out the last of the Grineer insertion here. We will take your friend Jacob to his desired destination, then you will begin your life among us."

Two days had passed since the attack on our ship. Antwan, without his armor, was walking with Jacob and I down a busy street on a habitat ship that must have been 5 times the size of mine. They had enough space for cars here! I was now wearing a subtle Tenno garment. All white with silver trim on the sleeves and a small insignia on the shoulder representing my status as a new initiate. As we approached what Antwan identified as Jacob's Uncle's office, Jacob began looking tired.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking about the last time I saw my uncle. He was very close with my father. I told him over video yesterday but… I don't know if he's ready to care for me yet." We stopped in front of the building.

"You will be fine", I said. I wanted to cry, Jacob and I had been through so much together and now I was saying goodbye. For now.

"Jacob, I will get through this. I will find you again and we will make a difference."

Jacob laughed, "you're only 10 stupid, you can't promise that." I smiled. He'd called me 'stupid', he was at least feeling better.

"I would believe him", Antwan said, "your friend has a strong will Jacob." Jacob smiled wide and turned to knock on the door.

His uncle emerged a moments later and embraced my friend. The man thanked Antwan and I before turning to lead Jacob inside.

Jacob paused, "hey Chris?"

"Yeah."

"On your way to becoming all powerful and stuff… just don't forget about me." I walked forward as he turned to follow his uncle and gave him a hug. I'd never done it before, it was just sort of something we didn't do, but I couldn't help it. My eyes were clouding with tears again.

"I won't. I'll be back when I'm ready to help. YOU wait for me until then. Don't try and change the galaxy by yourself either. We're going to do this together." I stepped back and we looked at each other for a moment.

"It's a deal", he said. With that he walked inside and the doors shut behind him. I felt a pit open up in my stomach. The last connection to my childhood was gone. No… not gone. I'd be back. I would keep this promise.

"I'll see you later", I whispered to the door. Antwan patted me on the back.

"Ready to get started?" My tears cleared and my shoulders straightened. I had a goal. I was going to change the galaxy and I was in a position to get there one day. I could do this.

"You know it."


	4. New Beginnings

**A/N: Hello again, it's been a little while since my last upload. Busy with work an stuff. I'll be trying to upload at least 2 chapters a week, if I don't... sorry. Hopefully you have enjoyed thus far and make sure to write reviews. I WANT FEEDBACK. (I'll find you if you don't) o.O**

Living with the Tenno was something out of a fantasy. These people were the peak of power, and I was trying to become one of them. For the most part, I spent my time around Antwan. He was someone I had at least met before and I was still scared of these men and women. I didn't know how their order worked, what would anger or please them. I didn't know anything really.

"Don't be worried Chris", Antwan said to me multiple times before we reached his dojo, "you are in no danger with us. None of us expect you to comport yourself as Tenno immediately."

"Comport", I asked once.

"Act like us."

"Right." I had a feeling Antwan was going out of his way to care for me personally too. I think he felt guilty. I didn't mind, he was the one thing that was familiar to me.

I learned the Tenno all served the same cause, but were separated into Clans, each with its own Dojo. The structure was incredible, made of gleaming, incredible strong metal. In the common areas the ceilings were high and arched with more room than I'd been used to at home. The living areas were just as beautiful, but in a different way. The walls were white with silver trim and the floor was more white carpet. The lights were aimed at the walls so the rooms didn't seem too bright. I could just sit and look at some of the rooms for hours.

Antwan's clan, I couldn't pronounce the name but it translated into "The Mountain's Shadow", also included Stella and 26 others and was led by Jorge. It was a smaller group but not without power. Antwan told me he'd been serving under Jorge for around 150 years. Apparently that wasn't very long… That blew my mind. He was considered very young, but he'd been in combat before my great great great grandfather was born.

When he'd joined, there were only 4 of them and up until recently, there hadn't been more than 10, but Jorge decided to begin recruiting Tenno from other clans as well as apprentices like myself. I was to be the start of a new class. Antwan told me it could be several years until they found enough willing participants to begin truly training us, but until then, I would work as hard as I could to be ready for that day. Every morning, Antwan would wake me up at 4, 0400 they call it, and we would run through the Dojo several times before stretching and getting ready for the morning's exercises. They could be anything from martial arts to weight training.

During the day Antwan and Stella would spend time with me, when they could, teaching me what they called "the basics." It was all focused on controlling every action my body had: my breathing, my heartbeat, my muscles and so on.

"The most important thing is patience", Stella would tell me, "if you're in a hurry, you're just going to die quickly." That was enough to wear me out, but in the evening there was usually more exercise. I learned about their recent history along with many things I was taught in school.

As the days and weeks turned into months, I became familiar with some of the other Tenno in the clan. They all openly welcomed me into their midst, even began teaching me like Antwan and Stella. There was one other Tenno who I became close to: Jamison. He was as tall as Antwan but much more muscular with dark skin and a shaven head. He was one of 3 members of this clan who wore the Rhino Warframe a large, muscular looking suit. By the time another apprentice joined me, the daily martial arts classes were as natural as my schoolwork before.

I'd been with the Tenno 4 months when Phillip arrived. He was a year older than me, but a little smaller with black hair and very light skin. He was quiet and outside of training together, generally kept to himself. After a month I thought it would drive me crazy if I we didn't talk. One day after martial arts once Jamison, who had given us our lesson that day, left I decided we should have a chat. Before he got a chance to leave the practice room, I stopped him.

"Can you stay for another few minutes Phillips? I want to work on one move." He was breathing hard from the wringer Jamison had put us through that day. I felt bad for the guy, I knew how rough the first few months would be.

"Uh… yeah I guess."

It wasn't completely a lie, I did need to work on something Antwan had shown me the week before. It was a counter where, if my opponent over extended with a strike, I used my forearms to collapse their arm, twisting it behind them while sweeping their feet out and landing on top of them.

After trying it a few times, I finally did it once successfully, drawing a groan and angry look from Phillips.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to hurt. Do you want to try?" Phillips shook his head.

"Is that all you wanted?" "No. I wanted to talk too."

"About what?"

"What do you mean? We've lived together for a month now and you still won't say more than 5 words to me at a time! Something!"

"I don't really like to talk."

"I guessed that."

"Sorry Chris… I'm going to go back to my room."

"Oh no you're not." I wrestled him to the ground firmly, but made sure to be playful about it.

"We're going to talk or I'm going to sit on you until dinner!" He sat there for a minute, then 5, then 10.

"You don't believe me", I asked. After a pause I continued, "we've got another 3 hours here, would it really be that hard just to talk to me? Where are you from? Where did you live before this? Why did you join the Tenno?"

He grunted something I didn't understand.

"What was that?"

"Why don't you go first."

"Well… okay. I used to live on a smaller habitat ship near Titan. It only had about 4 thousand people on it, but it was nice. I knew most of the guards there because my dad served with them for almost 20 years. Something happened though…" I thought about telling him about that day, but decided against it for the moment.

"Anyways, the Tenno brought me in after I asked them to. I got here about 5 months ago. Your turn."

After a pause he just shook his head, "I don't feel like sharing. There's no point. You wouldn't understand my past."

I cocked my head at him, "why not?"

"You got to choose what you did. You chose this. You could have stayed with your family but you gave that up just to be special. I hate people like you. You think you just deserve more then everyone else."

I sighed. He had no idea. "Why do you think that?"

"I can tell. It's something I learned a while ago."

"A while ago? You're 11!"

"So?" He did his best to face me, and I could tell his face was turning red.

"Well you need to relearn that because you're wrong about me."

"No I'm not."

I rapped his head with my knuckles. "I'm me, you aren't. I think I would know better."

"Fine, then tell me", he said rubbing his head.

"Why should I? After everything you've said about me why should I tell you anything? You should tell me something about yourself. I've got all day to wait."

After a few more minutes, he finally spoke. "I was a Corpus slave." I'd heard about the Corpus at school before the attack and from the Tenno here. They didn't seem like the nicest people. Practicing slavery didn't surprise me.

"What about your parents?"

"I never got the chance to meet them. The Corpus viewed us as objects. Why would it matter if they knew what objects they came from? My story isn't very complicated, it just sucks."

I stood and offered a hand to Phillip. "Sorry Phil, I didn't know." He stood and I could see tears in his eyes.

"Come with me okay?" He just nodded. I took him to my room and after rummaging through my dresser for a moment, I pulled out Buffy.

"This was my little sister's. She was 4 years younger than me. Her, my parents, and pretty much everyone I knew were killed in a Grineer attack on my habitat. Both of my parents were shot in front of me and my sister was killed by an explosion. I survived with my friend, Jacob. We were saved by Antwan."

Phillip watched me while I talked, his eyes growing sadder as I did. "I guess it's my turn to be sorry now."

"It's okay Phil, I can understand what you said your childhood was terrible."

"Well… at least we share a sad past."

I chuckled, "there's that." We had an understanding of each other from then on. A common ground was always the start of a friendship.

New members began turning up faster after Phil arrived. 2 months after Phil showed up there were 5 of us. Another 3 month, 8. The time was flying by because every day was almost the same routine. I studied and worked as hard as I could. Every day I went to bed completely physically and mentally spent. The only thing I wanted to do more than join the Tenno was see my family again. Since that couldn't happen, I dedicated all of myself to my practice and studies. By the time a year had passed, my body and mind had taken on new shape. I was fit and strong, my mind was sharper and more focused. I had developed patience and discipline. Everything about me had evolved except for the desire to change the galaxy. That's what I thought at the time.

On the day which marked a year since my arrival, Antwan did something different. I woke up at 0350 as had become habit, but he didn't show up 10 minutes later like he had almost every day for the past year. I doubt he'd overslept. Maybe there was an emergency. I left my room and headed towards the Dojo commons. None of the other apprentices would be up, but maybe I would find one of the Tenno there.

The commons was the largest room in the Dojo. It was where we did practically anything but train and sleep. There were simulators for combat training, but those were only used by the Tenno. Jorge had even had several VI games brought in for us. I would play them sometimes after dinner, but I wasn't very good. Phil was probably the best at those. His main competition was the second oldest member of the group, a girl named Katrina. She was 14 now 3 years older than me, tall with long, jet black hair, and smooth, pretty face and developing body. She had come from a poor family living in one of the work camps on earth. Out of all of us, the two of them had it the worst growing up. Her and I got along well. She was one of the more focused members, a lot like me. Her parents weren't dead, but she had similar motivations. She told me she'd never be able to see them again, though not why. There were two guys who didn't seem like they'd last long: Joshua and Cameron. They were both my age, but probably spent more time playing VI games then training.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone call my name from the other side of the commons. I looked around to see Jamison walking with Antwan. I bowed my head to the two Tenno as they approached.

"No", Antwan said, "none of that today."

"Pardon", I asked.

They stopped in front of me and Antwan continued, "Your dedication is impressive Chris, but you can't forget you're still a child. I think we are going to take a break." I started to object but he held up his hand.

"I'm not saying you can't handle the work load you've given yourself, but I believe every childhood needs to have memories one can look back on fondly."

"What if I enjoy doing this as much as anything?"

Antwan laughed, "Chris even we need a break from time to time. Let's go have a good time, there's no need to work yourself into the ground. It's easy to see you're exhausted every night. You work as hard as any of us, let yourself recover for a few days. It will do you a lot of good."

"Okay."

I couldn't argue with him, and body screamed in agreement. However his compliment filled me with pride. I couldn't think of higher praise.

"I'm guessing you have something planned."

"Yes", Jamison said, "you haven't been out of the Dojo for a year now, so we are going to take you to a habitat near Venus called the Coloso. They hold the best Slot races there and we've got tickets to the Slot Cup event. 3 days, 9 races."

I could feel my face light up. Slot races were my favorite events to watch before the attack. My dad and I always made sure to see the Slot Cup, the Slot racing championship. The sport was a lot like car racing, but in space. The ships they raced are called Slot Pods and looked a lot like the Lisets used by the Tenno, but were decorated with sponsorships and personal upgrades. There were 4 pilots who were always fighting for the top spots: Julius and Toren Cole who were father and son, Tristan Hues, and Sarah Adriano. The Coles were the best defensive pilots out there. Hues was so smooth it was boring, but insanely fast. Sarah Adriano was just emerging as a top driver before the attack. She wasn't as fast as Hues, but she could win any dogfight. I couldn't wait to see how things had changed.


	5. A Slot Break

**A/N Shorter chapter here. Not a whole lot of story development, but I thought I'd give you guys a chance to get more in touch with 2 other main characters. Enjoy! (AND REVIEW!)**

The three of us used Antwan's Liset to get from the Dojo to a relay station near Venus before taking a shuttle to the Coloso. The habitat was enormous. I'd read it was almost 3 times as large as the next largest ship. It had enough room and supplies to support over 4 million people. It was so enormous, the first time I saw it, my mind couldn't comprehend what I was looking at. I had no idea something so large could be built. The Coloso was circular, less of a ship and more of a platform that was 8 kilometers across. It was built to be self-sufficient, but with the Slot Cup up coming, it was docked to a space elevator, receiving additional supplies from the planet.

"Have you ever been here before", Antwan asked.

"No. I've only read about it. How did you get tickets to this? They're always sold out years in advance." Antwan just smiled.

"We work with a lot of very powerful people", Jamison said. I learned not to ask about their assignments, so I just nodded.

The closer we got to the Coloso, the more absurd its size became.

"I had the same reaction the first time I saw it", Antwan said. I realized my mouth was hanging open as I stared, wide eyed, at the massive habitat. "Awe inspiring."

We approached a queue several hundred ships long. It seemed like it would take all day just to get to the station, but instead of pulling up to the rear of the line, our shuttle veered off to the side. As we passed the other ships, a security vessel drew adjacent with us for a moment. Not long afterwards, it pulled ahead of our shuttle and began leading us through the field of densely packed venders, sponsors and spectators. We were getting the VIP treatment at one of the most difficult events in the solar system to even get tickets to. Who did they know?

"The first race doesn't start until 1400 so we'll have a few hours to look around before we have to get to our box", Antwan said, "what do you want to do?"

"Get something to eat to start. I'm hungry."

"I second that", Jamison said.

"Alright, I know of a good place near the docks."

"Do they make hamburgers?"

"Good ones." I smiled, "sweet. I'm tired of those nasty black pucks Stella calls burgers."

Both of the Tenno began laughing. "I can't argue with that", Antwan said. It was strange, they weren't treating me like an equal, but they also weren't treating my like a student. It felt like I was out with my dad going to a race.

The restaurant Antwan took us to was called Re'am. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew the food was delicious. Stella usually prepared the food at the Dojo and… it was edible. That didn't mean you WANTED to eat it. My burger was cooked perfectly and at that moment it was the best thing I'd ever eaten.

"When did you find this place", Jamison asked, "I sure wasn't here."

"I decided to take a break after a mission on one of the Formorian. You know, the one… Halie…"

"Oh. Right. Sorry for asking." Antwan waved it off.

"Chris you used to watch Slots right", Jamison asked.

"Uh, yeah. My dad and I watched as often as possible."

"Alright, Adriano or Hues?"

"Adriano. I think she will end up being better."

"Wait wait wait", Antwan said, "what about Hodges?"

"Who", I asked. That's a name I'd never heard.

"Kim Hodges. She came over from the Junior league about 6 months ago and took first in the last race."

"Flash in the pan", Jamison said

"Like you and Uma?"

"Why do you have to bring that up? That's a low blow."

"I hit you too hard?"

"No, it was about as bad as you are in sparring."

"You wound me sir." I smiled as the two Tenno laughed. Even though they were relaxed, I didn't feel like I could join them. I felt like something was missing.

I had a good time throughout the day, but the longer it went, the more unsettled I got. By the end of the last race, I was bothered so much I could barely focus on the contest. As we walked to our room for the night, which was apparently a penthouse, Jamison excused himself which left Antwan and I alone.

"It's bothering you, not being here with your parents."

"Yeah."

"You know I would change that if I could right?"

"Oh I'm having a good time."

Antwan smiled at me sadly, "you don't have to hide how you feel Chris."

I looked at the ground ahead of us, "yes, I wish they were here. I wish the Grineer hadn't attacked. I wish… I wish I hadn't been put in a position of joining you, or becoming unwanted. But I don't wish I hadn't met you, Antwan. I don't blame you for what happened."

Antwan's smile was replaced with a pained expression. He looked around and said, "I appreciate it Chris, but that makes me feel no less guilty because what happened IS my fault."

"How do you know?"

"You will find out one day."

The Tenno paused for a moment before continuing. "When I look around here, I see families excited to be here together. I see children who look up to parents who love them to no end. I see something I took from you and so many others on that ship."

I didn't know what to say, he sounded so dejected, almost depressed. I'd never seen the man like that before, Antwan had always been cheery when I was around.

"When I heard you wanted to join us, I was glad", he continued, "because it meant I could at least help someone who's life I ruined." He paused again, taking a deep breath. "And to serve as a reminder of what consequences my mistakes have. Just one quick lesson Chris: When you are a powerful member of society, you are in a position to make significant changes be that through intended or unintended consequences of your actions."

I thought as we walked in silence for a moment. "You were glad I joined because you wanted to repay the debt from my ship?"

"No, that can't be done. The people who died there can never come back."

"They can't… I know. But promise me you won't change your decisions in the future because of that. You can and have to continue to make a difference for all of us who can't."

Antwan cocked an eyebrow before responding. "What have you been reading?" I felt my face flush as I looked away.

"Nothing, that's the reason I want to join the Tenno. There are probably more bad people with power than good so it's important for good people in a position of power to use that power to help as many as possible."

"So you're saying I can't allow my regrets to affect my actions?"

"Are you quizzing me?" Antwan laughed, "no, but you continue to amaze me Chris."

"That's how I feel."

"I know, you're a bright kid. I hope you continue to believe that." By the time we'd finished our conversation, our hotel loomed in front of us.

"Better get to bed", Antwan said, "first race is at 0800 tomorrow."

"0800", I laughed, "that's late. I might get a decent night's sleep!"

The next day was less eventful. I still had that nagging unsettled feeling, but it stayed at the back of my mind. Julius took the first race of the day, while Adriano took the second in a close finish with Hues and, to both my and Antwan's surprise, Hodges took the last race. The third and final day of the Cup came with a 4 way race between the Cole's, Adriano and Hodges. Hues hadn't been able to win a single race to that point while Adriano and Tristan had each won 2, with Julius and Hodges winning one a piece. Hues finally took an event, the first one of the day, while Julius pulled even with the lead winning the second. In the final race Hues almost managed to take the win, but Tristan Cole held him off with his now iconic brand of defense. The three day event really was a perfect break from training. Despite my reservations I enjoyed the time I spent away from the Dojo, but I was ready to get back by the end. Taking the shuttle back to the relay where Antwan's Liset was waiting for us, the Tenno had one more surprise for me.

"By the way", Antwan said, "when we get back there will be no more waiting. You and the others will begin your path to becoming Tenno."


	6. Training Begins

On the return trip, I sat quietly and stared out of the Liset's panoramic front window but my mind was racing. We were finally going to begin our training! I felt like if I'd done anything _other_ than sit quietly, I would have exploded. Training the past year was good, but it felt like I was waiting. I was passing time until this moment. Now though, now I had an endgame. There was something tangible to work towards.

"How long will the training be", I asked softly once I felt like I had my excitement under control.

"Our last group took 7 years", Jamison said. "It depends on how quickly you and your classmates can master your trials. Don't worry Chris, Jorge will give you all the lay of the land tomorrow morning."

The next morning I found myself with the other 11 students assembled in front of Jorge and the Clan's two senior Tenno: Stella and one of the other Rhino drivers, Samuel.

"You have all committed to this path, I commend you, "Jorge started. "The amount of time this takes is up to you. The mastery of the subjects you are confronted with are the only requirement. All of you must master each obstacle before the class may advance, so it is in all of your best interest to assist the others in any way possible. The most important for anyone, most of all Tenno, is mastery of one's senses. Without having complete control over your connections with the world, you cannot hope to effectively learn the skills to operate within it. You will report to the meditation hall tomorrow at 0600." With that, the three Tenno exited the commons and left us to ourselves.

Mumbling started among the students assembled. Phil, who was standing next to me asked, "did Antwan and Jamison tell you about this on your trip?"

"Yes." I saw Phil frown as he shook his head. He'd become more forthcoming around me in the past 6 months, but he was still extremely shy. He would rarely talk around anyone besides Katrina and I.

"Not fair."

"It's not like I asked for it."

"So? You're still their favorite."

"Maybe, but that scares me. They're going to be extra hard on me."

I saw Katrina talking with another student, a boy name Kilian who was Phil's age with dark brown hair and tanned skin. She saw me watching her and gave me a smile before coming over with Kilian in toe.

"So where'd you go Chris", she asked.

"Slot Cup."

"Oh wow", Kilian exclaimed, "who won?"

"Toren Cole."

"Aw, I wanted Adriano to win."

"Me too."

I noticed the other 8 students were all grouped near us. Several of them were stealing glances at us, me in particular. I cleared my throat and called to the larger group, "what do you guys think?" I began walking towards them as someone spoke up.

"I think you need to stay over there and leave us alone teacher's pet." I stopped in front of the others. The one who had said that, Julian, was the oldest of all of us. He was 15, a year older than even Katrina, tall for his age but thin with light skin and blond hair.

"Why would I do that?"

"No one over here wants anything to do with you."

"You sound younger than me! Are we in kindergarten?" His face reddened, but before he could respond I continued, "we need to work together or it is going to take us forever to finish our training. I don't know about you, but I want to be stuck in this dojo for the rest of my life trying to do something that should take us no time at all!" That was an exaggeration, Antwan said the last group took 7 years, but I didn't want to let them know how much the Tenno told me.

"I think we'll be fine. It's your group who is going to have to catch up."

"That's ridiculous! You don't get to move on unless all of us are successful, weren't you listening? Anyways, do you see any of the Tenno dividing themselves even if they don't like each other?"

I began speaking directly to the other 7 assembled around Julian. "We are going to be risking our lives, putting them in each other's hands. Regardless of how we feel about one another, we have to be able to count on each other. All this about groups is nonsense, there is only one group and that's all 12 of us. I want all of you to succeed as bad as I want success for myself. Don't you think that's the whole point of grouping us like this? The Tenno work to be a single unit. Just because we aren't called Tenno now doesn't mean we can't act like it. I hope all of you are willing to help anyone else here because that's the only way any of us are going to get through this. Our new teachers are going to be watching how we work as a group more than how we work as individuals. Like all of you probably think: they like me because I've been here the longest right? Well then shouldn't I know what to expect best as well?"

With that, I exited the commons. I had been nervous, but as I spoke the flutters in my stomach disappeared and were replaced with resolve. I can and will do this. I will beat 7 years, and I am going to drag anyone who doesn't have the will with me.

The next morning at 0600 in the meditation hall Jorge gave us a simple task: clear our minds completely.

"Focus on nothing but your breathing."

It is an exercise I'd done many times before, but it was much harder to maintain clarity then to achieve it. You could empty your mind of thoughts, but something would inevitable pop back in. I sat near the front with my legs crossed under me and closed my eyes.

"It helps to picture something simple or familiar and focus on that", Antwan would tell me, "Then once that filled your consciousness, push it out too so there is nothing but silence."

I normally pictured Buffy, but this time I chose the light in my room. It was constructed in a cone shape out of folded aluminum and directed at the ceiling. Breath in and out. Focusing on the lamp, I saw the thin wires which held it to the ceiling. In and out. There was only one blemish in the aluminum, a small scratch right below the upper edge over my bed. In and out. The light coming from it had a strangely warm tone, almost like the sun from when humans only lived on earth. I slowly began to push the light out of my mind detail by detail. First it wasn't attached to anything anymore, then there was no light coming from it. In and out. Finally the wires disappeared and it was only the aluminum cone. Then nothing. Breath in and out. In and out. In and out.

I did everything I could to focus on my breathing. Every time I felt something approach the edge of my mind, I would force every bit of air out of my lungs until the only thing I could think of was inhaling. It was a messy method, but it worked for a while. However, eventually those nagging thoughts began pushing deeper and deeper into my mind until my concentration was broken. I took one more deep breath before opening my eyes.

I didn't know how long I'd gone for, but it felt good I thought it was the longest so far. I straightened my legs and leaned back on my hands, relaxing as much as I could. I studied the meditation hall, as I'd done many times before, still amazed by it. The room wasn't very large, maybe 15 meters square, but like everything else here it was beautiful. There was a small pond on the wall opposite of the door under a wall to wall window looking out into space. The view always stunned me. There were small cushions arranged along the other 2 walls, but the center of the room was bare, polished hardwood. There was little added lighting because, one, the window provided natural light and, two, the room wasn't supposed to be very bright. I looked out of the large window a moment longer, letting my eyes wander among the starts before sitting back up, crossing my legs again and deepening my breath.

Closing my eyes again I restarted the process until I was back in darkness and again, after a while, my concentration wavered. I did it over and over again until my mind was numb and my eyes were heavy. Most of the other students were already standing. The only ones left attempting our assignment were Phil, Julian and I. I tried again, but my mind would not function. Taking one last deep breath and stood, admitting defeat. "I think that's enough for today", Jorge said. His voice was almost jarring after so much silence. I gave the Tenno a deep bow before exiting the Meditation hall.

Outside I met up with Phil and we walked to the commons to get some food. As we entered the massive room I saw Antwan sitting with two other Tenno. He gave me a glance and a wave before returning to the discussion he was having.

"Food", Phil said. All I could do was nod and begin walking towards the kitchen. The clock there read 1200.

"6 hours", I whispered, it was no wonder my mind was fried.

"How did you do", Phil asked as we ate.

"First few times I felt pretty good; I was able to stay focused for a while, but after that my brain wouldn't listen to me; it kept wandering. You?"

"I spent the whole time trying to come up with a way to clear my head."

"I just think of something familiar and simple until that's the only thing in mind, then push it out piece by piece. It's sloppy but it works for me."

"I'll try that tomorrow I guess."

I chuckled, "yeah, there's no way I could do it right now."

A few more students joined us in the commons. There were 6 of them including Katrina and Kilian. I waved them over and we talked about the attempted meditation. Most of them didn't have any more luck than Phil, but Kilian and one other used the same method I did to get started.

"My problem is staying there once I've cleared my head", I said, "it seems like every few seconds a new thought wants to pop in."

"Focus on breathing", another student said. If it were that easy we'd all have done it by now, I thought.

"How does that help", Katrina asked.

"Well, if you focus entirely on your breath, there's no room for any other thought to come from." Again, not that easy.

"Were you able to do it", I responded.

"For a little while." So that would get us nowhere. Little by little, the other students trickled in but no one had been able to come up with a way to keep their mind clear.

That afternoon, while Phil and I were exercising with Antwan, I asked him for tips. "Repetition. To accomplish something, one needs repetition. I'm sorry but there is no shortcut for the things you will learn here. Some pick it up faster than others, but it always requires repetition." He smiled at me then, "isn't that how anything worth doing comes to you? Don't worry about it Chris, this is one of the most taxing things to learn. It does a lot of good though. You're bright, I think you'll be able to figure that out soon."

With that it was clear the discussion was over. That night I went to bed right after dinner. No one even stayed up to play VI games, all of us were dead tired. Then the repetition began.

Antwan wasn't kidding when he said it took repetition. Week after week we spent 6 hours a day in the Meditation hall, but not without progress. I hadn't been able to discover any other methods of clearing my mind, but each day it became a little easier to empty my head of thoughts. Whether or not I could stay there longer was difficult to tell because of how timeless the process felt. Eventually some of the students began to get anxious.

2 months had passed and it seemed like many of the others felt stuck. However, a few days later Jorge made an announcement. At the beginning of the session, instead of silently watching us, the Tenno stood from his kneeling position and spoke.

"I can see many of you are growing restless. I will not be supervising you today, I will be waiting outside. If any of you wish to quit, come see me and we will make arrangements for your departure. This is the time we will begin to weed out those who are not truly dedicated to our discipline."

With that, the Tenno leader exited the hall and left us in silence. That was a heavy declaration: anyone who wanted to quit could, but it was also a challenge, a test. We were on our own now, there was no teacher or motivator. We were effectively left to our own devices to overcome this. I smiled, shut my eyes and began the familiar process. I would not fail, I said it before coming here: succeed or die.


	7. Struggles of the Path

**A/N: Hey all. I went back to reread my older chapters and was... pretty irritated with them. They were kind of sloppy and laid out in a way that made sense to me, but probably not to you guys, so I went back through them and tried to clean up a bit. I appreciate all of you reading my story thus far, being my first attempt at writing a fanfic. Please write a review and let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

One student quit that day, leaving 11 of us. I don't know where he went or what happened to him, I just know he wasn't meant for this life. Jorge didn't return to his position in front of the pond. So this is how it is now. Any time I asked Antwan, Jamison, Stella or another Tenno about what to do, they all told me the same thing: keep trying.

"One does not master this skill quickly Chris", Stella said echoing Antwan. "Some take years to truly achieve clarity. Be patient." I understood what they were saying, but this was beginning to get frustrating.

Though none of the other students left, they shared my impatience. Three months and if felt like none of us had made much progress. We would talk for hours after morning meditation, but very rarely did anyone find something useful. One problem though was some of the others were still hesitant to help.

I couldn't understand that: our objective was clear, but some of the students wouldn't get on board, wouldn't cooperate. Katrina was the most vocal member of the group; many looked to her as a leader since she was also the second oldest. In private though, she would talk with me as if I was the one in charge.

"I don't think age has anything to do with it", she once said, "we have to find the best person to follow or this is going to take far too long."

"I know. Most of the others don't seem to think so though", I growled. I didn't want to admit it but I wanted to be the leader. It spawned from equal parts ego and the desire to help the other students.

"Kilian and Phil know too", she replied.

"Great, we've got 4 out of 12."

One night in my room, I laid awake in my bed staring at the ceiling.

"I won't give up. I won't walk out of that room." My mind was racing, trying to find something to latch onto. I didn't feel hopeless, but I didn't know what to do. It had been almost 4 months and I still couldn't hold my concentration for long.

"It can't take years. Everything might change by the time I'm ready if it does." I sat up and looked at my dresser, tucked in a corner by the door.

Standing, I walked over to it and slid open the top drawer. The only thing in it was Buffy, resting on his belly, beady plastic eyes looking up at me. I gently took him out of the drawer and laid back down on my bed with him cradled under my arm. I did nothing but lay there with him, feeling his soft fur on my arm and side. Every time I looked at him, I was reminded of my promise.

This little stuffed animal represented my reason for doing this. Some other little girl probably had a stuffed animal just like Buffy. I wanted that little girl to be able to cradle him just like I was until they were too old for the cute toy. No one should have to go through what I did and if I can, I'll prevent it from happening again.

"What a ridiculous sentiment", I whispered, "no one, not even the Tenno, can do that." I thought for a moment. Was it though? A dream didn't always have to be attainable, just something to strive for. I would strive for it until the day I died; I have nothing else to live for. I smiled as I close my eyes and focused on the sensation of Buffy's fur on my arm. I centered my attention on that until I drifted off to sleep.

The next few days proved to be fruitful; I began feeling more confident in my meditation. I was still unable to maintain a clear mind for an extended period, but it was progressing. Then a week or so later, changes started to take place. I was able to concentrate much, much easier, like a switch had been thrown. Less than two weeks after that night, I only had time for 4 tries during our morning session. A few days later, 3. Then 2. It had almost been 5 months, but my mind was finally beginning to evolve again. I wasn't straining like I had, instead I was relaxing as much as possible. I wasn't just feeling my breathing, I was also aware of the slight strain in my leg muscles, the pressure of the floor on me, any air movement around my body.

Outside of meditation, I felt more aware; my mind was able to process more at once. I didn't have to focus on an object to see it in detail, on a noise to hear what it was. It felt like my mind was opening and my environment was pouring in.

Finally, one day, almost 5 and a half months after we began, I began the session as I had every day for the past month and a half. I looked out the large pane of glass opposite of me, allowing my eyes and mind to become lost within the vast depths of space. I then closed my eyes, wandering there until peace and quiet filled my conscience. And breathed. I could feel every bit of air move through my mouth, down my throat, into my lungs and back out. I could feel every imperfection in the wooden floor through my thin shorts, hear every breath each student took. I stayed there, content in my small pocket of peace, relaxed. No thoughts threatened to disturb me, no sensations came to interrupt me. My breathing gradually slowed of its own accord as I sank deeper and deeper into my mind. I heard others begin to move about as their concentration wavered, but I stayed centered in my meditation. My mind remained at ease for a long time.

What finally interrupted me was not a noise, or a touch, or a thought, but presence I felt in front of me. I opened my eyes to see Jorge kneeling before me, smiling.

"Well done Chris. Our session is over for the day." I was shocked, 6 hours had passed? I was unable to tell how long I had been meditating, but I had no idea it was the entire session. I stood and bowed to the Tenno before exiting the meditation hall. The others were already gone, probably in the commons eating lunch. I made my way there, a huge grin on my face the whole way. I'd done it. I wasn't excited that I'd made it the entire session, I was excited because I know I could have kept going. I found 8 other students eating, including Julian, Katrina, and Phil. Katrina was talking with two others, so I grabbed a sandwich and sat next to Phil.

"You went the whole time", he said, more of a statement then question.

"Mhmm."

He turned to me, his face beaming, "great job Chris."

I felt mine flush and a sheepish smile spread, "thanks. I just did what I talked to you about a few weeks ago: let your mind wander in that window for a while before trying. If you focus on something, you can't relax."

"I've been trying, but if I let my mind wander, it keeps wandering."

"I can't say anything else then just keep trying. You have to allow your mind to wander until it clears itself. After some practice it shouldn't take too long."

"Sounds good."

We chatted for a few more minutes until Katrina and Kilian finally came over.

"Well", Kilian asked. "Just did what I told everyone I'd try", I replied. "It takes practice if you haven't already been trying it, but if you try to focus on something, even breathing, your mind can't relax and eventually your concentration will break."

"Anything else", Katrina asked.

"Nope, it's simple, but it isn't easy."

The next morning, Jorge met me as I exited my room.

"Today, I want you to begin the next part of this trial. While you are meditating, allow yourself to wander through your mind. Do not hold yourself to nothingness. Your concentration is adequate, now let your mind guide you." I nodded and we began towards the meditation hall. I knew what he meant, while I was meditating the day before, it felt like my mind begun to take on its own shape, its own presence. He wanted me to allow that to happen, and follow it wherever it took me.

I was not able to finish the session that day. Had I attempted to stay in the quiet pocket I'd been in the day before, I had no doubt I could have remained there indefinitely, but I followed Jorge's instructions. My mind took me back to that day again. I relived watching my parents die, my sister die. My world crumble around me. I opened my eyes with a start, sweating, breathing hard. Crying. I felt hot tears stream down my face. It was so real, like I'd been there for the second time. My mother, lying in the walkway, dead. A walkway, I then recognized as the path I would take from school sometimes to get away from all of the other kids. I saw my dad's eyes again, thinking about them made me shudder. He looked so… determined. Then my sister… my breath caught in my throat. My sister… Fresh tears began cascading down my face as I thought of my sweet little sister, splayed out in rubble, dead.

Phil, who was sitting next to me, was watching me with obvious concern. At that point, I did what I promised I wouldn't do: I left the meditation hall. I had no intention of quitting, but I couldn't stay in there anymore. My concentration was completely broken and even if I could have gone back into meditation, I didn't want to, I was afraid of what it might bring. Jorge stood and watched me walk by, wordlessly. I knew he could tell exactly where my mind had taken me.

I didn't come out of my room for the rest of that day. I hadn't intended to eat, but Stella brought me a tray of food an hour or so after meditation ended. Jorge must have told her what happened. She didn't say a word, merely deposited the tray on my desk and left. She knew I didn't need to hear anything, I just needed time.

So did Antwan. He didn't come and see me that day, but the next morning I heard a knock on my door at 0400. I would have smiled if I could. Sliding open the partition, I found Antwan standing in front of me with a somber look on his face.

"We haven't done a morning workout in a long time." I nodded and followed him down the hall towards the commons. Phil, Katrina and Kilian were waiting for me.

"You okay", Katrina asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came so I shook my head.

"Enough of that", Antwan said, "we have to get started if we are going to finish in time." He worked us extra hard that morning. A lot of running, aerobics and even martial arts. There was no sparring, but plenty of practice strikes. It felt great. I knew I would have no energy left for our exercise in the afternoon, but I didn't care, this was perfect. Having others around now helped too. I didn't want company the day before but now I welcomed it; being around friends reminded me I wasn't alone. I think that was the most important thing for me at that point.


	8. The road to Power

**A/: I'd originally intended this to take place over two chapters, but decided to hell with it. You guys have been patient enough and I realize this is moving a little slow. I just want to spend some time getting to know the characters but don't worry, things are going to start picking up pretty quickly. As always, make sure you leave a review and enjoy!**

An hour later I sat on my bed, fresh clothes on and hair still wet from my shower. There was another 20 minutes until meditation. I stared at my door, thinking of what had transpired the prior day.

It's been a year and a half since the Grineer ruined… no, changed my life, but the pain is still as fresh it's ever been. I'm going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life, but I can't let it hinder me. Several memories with my family presented themselves to me: a fair we went to when my sister was a toddler, the first time all of us went out to see a vid. Playing VI games with my dad. They were all times I enjoyed, but it was a bittersweet experience: I knew I'd never be able to make more of those memories. I couldn't have new experiences with my family. That was why I had to fight to make a difference though. I didn't want to let anyone else go through what me, Jacob and so many others on my habitat had to endure.

"I love you all", I whispered, "thank you for the memories you gave me. Even now, though you're dead, you are helping me: helping me move my feet. I'm going to keep moving because of you. I'll get better and better until I can stop this from happening again."

Back in my familiar spot I relaxed and began the journey again. As I loosened my grip, my consciousness began moving again. It took me back to that day again and I had to watch my world fall apart all over again. I wanted to quit, more than anything I didn't want to relive this day, but I had to at some point. Running would solve nothing. This time I reabsorbed every grim detail; I would use this as motivation, it wouldn't break me. As I reached the end of the day, Jacob and I sitting in the office, I found myself transported to a new setting. A familiar, dreadful one: sitting on the edge of my pit. I hadn't seen it since Jacob pulled me away but it was as clear to me as it had been that day.

Everything in my mind was silent, but the black hole before me was deafening enough. I sat there for a moment, considering the pit: the darkest corner of my mind. It wasn't filled with rage or the need for vengeance, but the desire to die. That scared me as much as anything. Was I just a coward? Shouldn't I be angry at something? Someone? Shouldn't I want to take my revenge on those who killed my family? If deep down I just wanted to die, was I fit to join the Tenno?

I paused for a moment. What if it doesn't mean anything like that? What if it just meant I'm a 12 year old kid who is trying to find his way far too early? What's wrong with being scared? Almost two years ago I'd spat into this pit in defiance, rejecting its offer. What was so different now that I couldn't decide to defy it again? I'm not subject to my mind's desires, it is subject to mine. I don't know if what I'm seeing here makes me a coward, but does it have to stay with me? I sat for what seemed like an eternity mulling those thoughts over before standing from the edge of the pit in the same manner I'd done before. However this time instead of fiery defiance, I looked into it with a mixture of confidence and anger. It may be a part of me now, but it would not stay there. The pain I felt losing my family would stay with me forever, but this hindrance didn't have to. I didn't have to stay afraid, that was something I could change.

Opening my eyes the first thing I saw was the vast expanse of space. All I could think was how truly beautiful the view was. It brought a lot of danger, unhappiness. Pain. But it also brought opportunity, the possibility for change. That would be my impact on the vista: I would change it.

Looking around I saw the room was empty save Phil sitting on one of the cushions around the room, dozing. I smiled, he might have been a little awkward, but Phil was loyal.

I stood and padded over to my sleeping friend, "hey." Phil's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at me, rubbing the sleep out of them.

"You're finally done. Hungry?"

"Of course." He stood and we walked out of the meditation hall. Jorge was there waiting for us. He must have seen something he liked because a smirk cracked the granite around his mouth and he nodded. I gave the Tenno a shallow bow before heading for the commons to get some food.

As we entered, I looked at a clock mounted near the door. It read 1530. Almost 10 hours, no wonder my stomach felt like it had turned inside out. Waiting in the kitchen were Katrina, Kilian and 4 others, including Julian. They all seemed genuinely concerned with how I was. It was touching. I assured them I would be okay before finding something to eat. No one bothered me while I hungrily devoured the spaghetti and meat loaf I'd found from the day before (even though Stella had made it and the food was of… questionable edibility).

"Is there anything I can do to help any of you with meditation", I asked once my food had been eaten.

They all plied me with questions, eager to see what I'd figured out. I told them how I used the stars to set my mind wandering until it was empty, how I found a peaceful, empty pocket inside my consciousness and how I _relaxed_ as much as possible to stay there. They all seemed a little confused about relaxing instead of focusing harder.

"You have to concentrate, but not focus. If you focus your mind you will run into trouble because eventually your focus will shift, but if you concentrate on your pocket you can stay there longer."

"The difference between concentrating and focusing?"

"Well… if you focus on something, you're narrowing your attention to one singular thing, which is incredibly difficult to do for a long time. But if you concentrate on something, it's more of a depth thing. Instead of focusing on a single fish in a tank, you broaden your focus to all of the fish, so you're concentrating on the entire tank. It's a bad analogy, but you all get it right?" They seemed a little unsatisfied, but a few looked like they understood. Our afternoon session of martial arts would be starting in less than an hour, so I decided it was time to enjoy ourselves for a moment before more torture began.

"VI anyone?"

The next days passed without incident. My meditation led me through different times in my life, but never back to the day the Grineer attacked. That black pit however, was omnipresent. At first I tried to ignore it, but as time passed I decided to actively push it out of mind. I began to focus more on the thoughts and memories my mind was dredging up. A week or so after I'd seen the pit again, Kilian and Julian were able to successfully meditate for the 6 hour session. Another week saw 5 more follow including Katrina. Another week and the rest were successful. I was excited, we'd all accomplished our first task. It was a long 6 months, but the goal was a little bit closer. That day after our meditation all of us were uplifted, even excited. Several members of our group were beginning to get disillusioned, but overcoming our first major obstacle seemed to alleviate some of that depression, if only for a little while.

The next morning, we met in the meditation all once again, this time with a new assignment.

"Now that you are all able to successfully clear your minds, you must learn to do so in any situation regardless of distractions", Jorge said. "We will start simple. You must perform your meditation today with your eyes open."

This time he stayed at his position at the front of the room, watching the 11 of us. I'd grown used to having the room to ourselves. His piercing gaze made me feel a uncomfortable, maybe a little self-conscious. Though I'd lived with them for going on two years now, the Tenno were still something of a myth to me. They all seemed larger than life still, even Antwan. He was always friendly and kind, if sometimes stern with me but I could tell there was much more lurking under his normally cheery demeanor.

Realizing my mind was wandering away from me, I refocused on my task at hand. Trying to meditate with my eyes open was different, very different. Normally there wasn't much to distract from the mind, but with my eyes open a whole world of information was pouring in. I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and reopened them, concentrating on the window in front of me. I allowed my eyes to wander as I normally did. However, this time, I did so until they came to rest on one particular star. It was in the upper left corner of the window, slightly redder than the others around it. My mind wrapped itself around the image of that small red light.

I wasn't able to hold my focus long before something intruded. I decided to relax for a moment to think, and it was right then I'd realized what I'd done wrong: I was too focused. I shouldn't need to relax, I should have been already. Maybe I should just _concentrate_ on the window, not individual stars. I nodded to myself before trying again.

This assignment didn't seem as difficult as the last, but the issue was the added distractions were something I wasn't used to. It felt like I'd taken a few steps backwards. Every once in a while I'd catch myself closing my eyes going into meditation. At this point it was so natural I had to constantly fight the urge. Soon though, we were all able to overcome that obstacle. Then Jorge introduced varying noises, shifting lights, and eventually exercise. A year had passed by the time we'd completed the gauntlet of tests, but by the time we were done my mind had undergone dramatic changes. It had been conditioned to absorb as much of my environment as it could, to stay relaxed but attentive.

The tests had also taught me much about myself. During the meditations, I had ample time to explore my mind. I found how deep my motivation, my need to help others, ran. It rivaled the depth of the well still lurking in the back of my mind.

From there, the Tenno expanded our martial arts training while shortening meditation period to 3 hours. We began sparring daily with both hand to hand combat and wooden practice weapons. Jorge and Jamison were our instructors.

"For now, all of you are only working to improve your skills", Jamison said the first day. "None of you should be concerned with when this stage of your training will be over."

The first few months were focused on teaching us strikes, then grapples. However, the longest portion of our training was spent learning how to read and anticipate during a fight. If you can't read your opponent, you're going to lose.

A year and a half into our combat training, instead of our normal routine, Jamison led us to one of the rooms which had been off limits up to that point. It looked similar to the meditation hall with a large window looking out into space, hardwood floors and low lighting, but in place of the pond, there was a large screen. Jorge was absent, leaving Jamison to explain what was happening to the 11 of us assembled in front of him.

"Something we all must accept in our path is death. We will all most likely die during one mission or another, it comes with the territory", the Tenno said quietly. "I'm sad to say one of our members, our brethren, have met this fate."

Jamison's voice cracked at the end of his oration. He looked like he wanted to say more, instead he gestured at the screen and it began playing footage from what I assume was one of the Tenno's helmets.

"Samuel was on a retrieval mission with Carson, Antwan, and Stella. The Corpus had sensitive information we wished to obtain. Unfortunately, while they conducted their raid, an uncontrolled Technocyte infestation erupted, most likely the result of a Corpus experiment. The 4 of them were able to accomplish their mission, however during their retreat, Samuel was overrun by the mutated crewmen."

With that, Jamison grew quiet as we watched the footage from the deceased man's helmet. At first the Tenno quickly made their way through the Corpus complex dispatching any Corpus they came across. Alarms began blaring 15 minutes into their mission and Corpus resistance grew as bipedal robots began joining the fight. By the time they reached their objective I'd lost count of the number of Corpus they'd killed.

However as they made their way back toward their Lisets the infested began pouring out of every opening. There must have been hundreds of them but the Tenno continued cutting through them as quickly as they had the Corpus and for a while, it seemed there would be no trouble. Another 20 minutes in however, it seemed they were running low on ammunition. Samuel began fighting with a sword. He dispatched enemies faster than I could follow; one moment there would be 5 or 6 infested creatures around him, the next each was cleanly rent in two. It was impossible to track his strokes.

The communication between the Tenno stayed calm, but it was easy to see they were struggling with the onslaught of enemies. The moment Samuel met his end came so quickly it was a shock. He engaged several larger creatures, dispatching 4 of them with the same efficiency he had all of the others. I heard Carson call a warning to him, then suddenly the image was thrown to the ground. Samuel attempted to stand again, however one of the larger infested pounced on him followed by countless smaller ones. I could hear the other Tenno trying to get through the mass of flesh and metal to their comrade. Soon enough the hoard was cleared and Stella was kneeling over the fallen Tenno. Her armor flared with vibrant green energy, but a few seconds after it started, the glow faded and she stood shaking her head.

With that Jamison gestured at the screen again and it went dark. I stared at the blackness, struggling to comprehend what he'd shown us. It was the first time since I'd arrived that a Tenno had died in battle. I knew they weren't invincible, but seeing one of the warriors fall was more than a shock. It went against every story I'd ever heard of them as a child, everything I'd come to believe living among them.

"This was a result of carelessness on Samuel's part", Jamison said. "He very well could have emerged from this mission unscathed had he properly evaluated his situation. We may be well equipped, well trained and powerful, but there is no remedy for carelessness. It is always important to carefully approach any situation. 99 times out of 100 you will most likely be able to overcome your enemy through your prowess alone, but it's that one time that gets you killed. It is unfortunate this happened, but I want Samuel's death to be a warning to you all: it only takes a single bad move to end your life no matter how good of a warrior you are."

Jamison sounded bitter, almost angry. The Tenno spoke quietly but I could feel the rage and pain stir just beneath his calm demeanor.

"There will be no meditation or practice today. You are dismissed."

We all bowed to the Tenno though he had not turned from the front of the room. I exited with Phil and Katrina.

"I can't believe it", I muttered.

"Sam…", Phil whispered.

I glanced over at my friend and a pang of sorrow shot through me. He had been very close with the Tenno, like Antwan and I.

"We need to go practice", Kilian said, walking up from behind.

I agreed, not just because none of us really wanted to take a break, but we needed something to take our mind off of what we'd just seen. Samuel wasn't very involved with our training, but we'd all lived with him for almost 4 years, 5 in my case. As we walked the all too familiar pain of loss swelled in my chest until I couldn't stand it.

"DAMMIT", I swore explosively, coming to a stop. I didn't know why I shouted; like Jamison said: Samuel made a mistake. I just felt so helpless.

No one said anything. No one needed to; we were all thinking the same thing. I leaned against the corridor wall for a moment, regaining my composure before starting towards the sparring room again.

We were the first ones to get there and begin practicing but over the next 10 minutes all of the other students joined us. We practiced for hours that day. No one intended to stop, but around 1600 Antwan walked in. The moment the Tenno entered, all activity stopped and we gave him a deep bow.

For as good as all of the Tenno were at hiding emotion, I could see how hurt he was. His stride was abnormally brisk and shoulders stiff. He stopped in the middle of the sparring room and his gaze ran over us.

"Let's see how far you've come." As he spoke his gaze settled on me. I knew he meant to fight. I fixed my gaze on his eyes as I stepped forward. As I assumed my stance across from Antwan, the other students gathered along the edges of the room.

My mind began assessing my opponent as had become automatic over the past year. Antwan was about 15 cm taller than me and, through whatever process the Tenno gained their immense power, far faster and stronger. I'd watched the Tenno spar on countless occasions, their strikes were impossible for a normal person to follow so I knew I had no chance in this fight.

I wasn't the best student in hand to hand combat either, that would be Julian and it didn't help he was 4 years older than I was. I could give him a run though, and I regularly beat everyone else so I knew I was a good fighter. I took a deep breath, I had nothing to prove against the Tenno. All I had to do was exhibit the preparation I'd done to that point.

The match began when I advanced on Antwan. I feinted at his right with a short jab before coming back inside with a cross. He blocked the strike with practiced ease and began an assault on my guard. I rarely got the chance to attempt any strikes of my own. I had no opportunity to disrupt him or go on the offensive; his fighting was suffocating.

Eventually I decided it would be no use to continue blocking, I'd have to take a shot in order to land one. I waited for the right strike to retaliate. It was a low jab to my right side. I moved my right arm off and swung at the lower left side of Antwan's neck with a hook. I hit nothing but air, but his blow didn't land either. Instead the next thing I knew he was standing back with his arms down.

"You understand the need to take risks, but you need to learn the difference between a necessary and unnecessary risk", the man said. "If you learn one thing from Samuel's death, learn the difference between the two can be the difference between life and death. The decision to trade a blow could go either way. Why did you decide to that the chance?"

"Had I continued to stay defensive, eventually my guard would have worn down."

"Or I might have made a mistake you could take advantage of", he retorted

"I can't always trust my opponent to make a mistake. In this instance I had no confidence that you would, hence my decision."

"You will learn this with time, but a mistake doesn't have to be a missed block or overextended strike. It could be something as simple poorly timed one which leads to a disruption of balance or rhythm. However, your skill as a fighter is top notch. Under normal circumstances you would be a tough opponent."

"Thank you", I said with a bow.

Once he was finished, Antwan moved to the rear of the room and called for us to continue our practice, observing until Jamison came to collect us for dinner. After we ate there was a short service to honor the fallen Tenno before we went to bed. That was the first night since our meditation trials I'd slept with Buffy. The stuffed animal was still as comforting to me as it had been then though it felt a silly to sleep hugging a child's toy at 15.


	9. Goal in Sight

**A/N: Hey all, sorry for the delay with this chapter. I wanted to start writing ones that were a bit longer, get some more meat on the bone for ya. I intend to upload another chapter in the coming days, but then I am going to take a couple weeks getting ready for what's to come. I'm sure you're probably aware (and if you aren't this chapter will help) things are going to start moving along quickly, we're finally getting into some combat! Some pretty big things are slated to happen over the next few chapters too so I hope you enjoy the ride!**

From then on Antwan attended our sparring along with the other two Tenno and would join in from time. Around 6 months later, Jorge instructed us to meet him in the firing range the next morning where we would begin our weapon's training. I quickly discovered Phil's skill at VI games carried over to the read deal. He was the best shot with handguns and automatics while Katrina was the one to beat with semiauto rifles. I wasn't the most accurate, but I was at least consistent. Once we got used to several weapons, we used the VI's to practice on longer range targets.

After a 2 weeks of firearms training, Jorge brought us to a small room with what looked like several VI interfaces. The difference was there were cathodes accompanying the helmets arrayed around the room. As we entered Jorge briefed us on the room's purpose.

"These are similar to your VI games: they are used as a training apparatus for true combat", he said. "A shot or blow which would kill you in real life will kill you in this simulation however, one that would not will still have an effect: these also simulate pain."

"You will each fight every other apprentice over the next few days in order to become acquainted with these. One warning: you MUST ensure you separate this simulation from real life. This will look and feel real but it is not. Dying in this simulation is of no consequence, unlike reality. To that end the pain in this 'game' will be dulled but you all must draw a line between simulated and real combat." We all bowed our heads in acknowledgement.

"You will each start with a rifle, handgun and staff, sword or dagger of your choice and positioned in a random battlefield. Your one and only goal is to defeat the other." With that Jorge chose 6 of us and assigned each to a setup. It was me, Phil, Julian, Joshua, Kilian and one other. I didn't know who I would be paired with but I knew how they all fought, just as they did me.

Like our sparring matches, this would probably turn into a game of strategy and tactics. Once the cathodes were attached to several pressure points on me and the helmet was in place, I was transported to a small room with several weapons arranged on a table.

I looked around for a moment. The room looked almost real, much better than the VI's we used. I was wearing cargo pants, combat boots and a black T-shirt under a vest with several magazine pouches and a holster on my hip. I'd never worn the gear before, but it wasn't too heavy or bulky so it shouldn't impede my movement.

For my weapons I chose a Tiburon, an assault rifle which fired in three round bursts, and a Lex, high caliber sidearm with a nasty kick but a lot of stopping power. For my close range weapon I hefted an Orthos, a polearm (staff with a blade at each end). We'd been allowed to work with several weapons during martial arts training. From the start I preferred the Orthos; I was fluid and could strike quickly. The weapon was much heavier than a normal sword, 5 kilos to about 2, but I felt like the staff was made for me.

I twirled the polearm a few times before sliding it through the straps on my back. Choosing it was a tradeoff: it had much longer reach than a sword or dagger, and with two blades a skilled fighter could match their speed even with the extra weight however, it was much harder to maneuver in tight areas.

Once I was ready my scenery changed once again: this time I was standing at the end of a wide street surrounded by tall buildings. Looking around I groaned. This was a _terrible_ place to use the Tiburon. It was best at range, but the farthest I would have to shoot here was 30 meters. Best make do. A few seconds later a horn sounded signaling the start of the match.

I immediately sprinted towards the tallest building near me. I had no idea how large this arena was or who I was fighting. I decided those were both part of this test: we would have to adapt quickly in an unfamiliar environment to an enemy we weren't, at first, familiar with. The best thing I could do was take advantage of what I was good at: medium range with a rifle and very close range with my sidearm. I was a very good shot with the Tiburon at distances under 100 meters. The problem was there would be nowhere in this environment I would need that much range and anything under 20 meters, my rifle would turn into a liability due to its slowed rate of fire. At that point I would need to turn to the Lex, but even then if my opponent had an automatic assault or worse a submachine gun I would be screwed. So I either needed to keep them as far away as I could or get close enough to them to effectively use my handgun.

I climbed to the top of the building to get my bearings. From what I could see, the entire arena was urban with drab brown and grey buildings covering the environment which looked to be about half a kilo, square. I was unsure of how I wanted to approach this; I'd never been in a confrontation of this kind. I didn't know whether to listen to my instincts, which were telling me to find a good position and wait, or not. At the very least I now had my bearings, so I decided moving would serve me best for the time being: I was on one of the tallest buildings in the arena. Spotting my opponent would be easier there, but the opposite is also true.

I made my way back down to the street and started looking for a place I could wait. Turns out I was both wrong and right: I should have found a place to watch for whoever I was fighting, and I was easier to spot at the top of that tower. The moment I got to the door I heard a crack and a round pinged off of the doorframe a few centimeters from me. I froze for a moment, a pang of fear blossoming in my chest; I'd never been shot at before and even though this was just VI, it was unnerving. I shook myself and ducked back inside, my mind raced to figure out who had fired and where it came from. The weapon was obviously semiautomatic and judging from where the round impacted, the shooter must have been to the left of the main entrance. There were only three students who regularly used semiauto rifles: Katrina, Kilian and Joshua. Katrina wasn't in the sim so it wasn't her. I was hoping it was Joshua because Kilian was a very good shot. I didn't know if I could beat him in a firefight, especially since I had no idea where he was

The worst thing I could do at that point was walk out the front door, so I snuck back through the building and found a rear exit. As quietly as possible, I jogged down the alley behind that tower towards where I thought the shooter was. I stopped at another door about 100 meters from where I'd entered the alley and drew my Lex. With the weapon in my right hand close to my chest and muzzle pointed forward and down, I slowly swung the metal door open.

Quickly clearing the new area, I moved into the room. It looked like it might have served as a diner if the environment had been real. There was a staircase near the counter across the room from where I entered. Watching the main entrance as I padded over to the stairs, I tried to listen for any movement around me. Creeping up to the second floor, once I'd made sure the building was clear, I holstered my sidearm and shouldered the Tiburon.

As I made my way to a small window at the front of the building, I checked myself: I could feel my heart beating too fast and my breath was labored. My mind wasn't as relaxed as it normally was; I needed to calm down or I'd lose. If my mind continued to race, important elements in my environment would elude it.

I stopped for a moment, aim trained on the entrance to the room and relaxed. I breathed as deeply as I could, listened for every sound, let my eyes take in everything in detail and allowed my muscles to loosen. After a moment my heart rate slowed, breathing returned to normal and mind was again relaxed and open.

Once I was sure I was alone in the little diner, I turned my attention to the small window I'd noticed earlier. Set in the wall facing the street, it was right at head level and would allow me a good view of the street, but I had to make sure I wasn't seen through it. Staying half a meter away from the opening, I started searching for any sign of the shooter.

If they were in the same place, it would need a view of both the roof and entrance to the tower I'd first been in. That meant it had to be at least a few stories high and since the round hit a doorway that was set half a meter into the building, it had to be across the street. That ruled out all but 3 buildings: A 6 story building made of mostly glass. No cover, that couldn't be it. That left what looked like a squatty 5 story office building across from me, and a 6 story apartment building with balconies 3 buildings to my right, closer to the first building I'd been in. If I were to guess, I'd say the shots would have come from one of those balconies: none of us had experience doing this, so that's the first place my instincts told me to go.

I began searching the top 3 floors of the apartment building for any sign of the other student. I didn't see any open doors or broken windows, but that didn't mean they weren't there. I waited, watching and listening for anything that would give my opponent away. 10 minutes passed, then 15, 20.

After almost half an hour of waiting, I saw movement on the 5th floor of the apartments. That had to be the other student, I guessed right! I was more excited about that than finding my opponent. A door slid open and shut, that must have been whoever was there leaving the balcony. They were most likely leaving the building, so I had two choices: wait here, hoping they come out of the main entrance or get across the street before they could get to ground floor and confront them in the building.

After almost getting shot the last time I tried to leave through the front door, I wouldn't use it unless I knew it was safe so I doubted they would either. That made my decision for me. I turned and ran as quietly as I could back to the stairs, back down to the ground floor of the diner and to the front door. I couldn't help but smile, but I doubted the other student knew I was there, and they were probably making their way to the ground floor of the apartment building so it should be safe.

I quickly scanned the buildings across the street from me before sprinting into the open. Taking cover in the doorway of the office building I'd seen, I did another scan of the street before padding my way towards the apartments. The inside of the apartment building was well lit and empty. That wasn't good, there would be nowhere to hide. If the other student hadn't already made it to the ground floor they would be able to see me as soon as they did. The doorway leading to the stairs was set in the wall to the right of the main entrance while the elevator was on the opposite side. They would be using the stairs: elevator was too risky. I decided the best position I could take was just outside of the door, angling my sight through the entrance towards the staircase. It would provide a little cover and, since the staircase door opened inwards, would allow a clean shot. I knelt, flipped the safety on my Tiburon and waited.

It didn't take long. Maybe 15 seconds after I'd arrived, I heard subdued footsteps approaching the door; there was a click as it was unlatched. I could feel my heart begin beating faster as my excitement grew. The door cracked open and I could see the barrel of a gun poking out. The door swung a little farther and I caught a glimpse of a hand, then an arm, shoulder… then they stopped. The person disappeared back into the stairway, but the door didn't close.

My mind was racing, could they know I was here? Nothing happened. As the seconds passed, I began to get anxious. Then, suddenly, the door was thrown open and gunfire poured out. I dove backwards, away from the entrance, firing my Tiburon as I fell. Rounds zipped over my head as I scrambled to get out of the open.

The gunfire stopped and I heard the other student run out into the lobby. I slung my Tiburon and unholstered the Lex. At this point I wasn't thinking, my body was on autopilot. Had I thought through what I was about to do, there's no way I would have continued. I brought the handgun up to my chest, pointed at the building and ran towards the entrance. Instead of going in I crossed in front of the double doors, aiming my sidearm through the opening. I had just enough time to register Kilian positioned 5 meters from the entrance cradling a Latron, a semiautomatic marksman rifle. We both fired and I felt a tug on my left shoulder as I reached the other side.

I checked my left shoulder, a round had cut through my sleeve and left a 2 centimeter long gash just below my deltoid. From inside I heard Kilian screech in pain. I must have scored a good hit on him. I peeked around the corner. All I had time to see was a small pool of blood and the Latron laying on the floor before I noticed the barrel of a handgun pointed at me. I pulled my head back as the pistol discharged and took a chunk out of the wall I was behind. I brought the Lex back up, knelt and leaned back out, firing at where Kilian had been. The rounds hit nothing but air though because my class mate had started back towards the staircase.

As the muzzle of his gun dropped down to me I pushed off into a roll, adjusting my aim as I did. Time seemed to slow as I came back up to a kneel and squeezed the trigger. As my sidearm barked Kilian returned fire and sharp pain burned its way through my right leg. I fell forward as Kilian was dropped to his knees. I did my best to keep the Lex leveled at him as I fell onto my stomach, but the searing pain in my leg made it almost impossible to concentrate.

Kilian had pitched sideways and was now laying on his right arm staring at me, a bullet wound dead center in his chest. I met his gaze for a moment before his body dissipated. A few seconds later, I was no longer in front of the apartment lobby, but staring at the inside of a VI helmet. My leg wasn't on fire anymore, but it still throbbed. If my leg hurt like it did, I could only imagine how Kilian felt.

Ripping off the helmet and cathodes I hurried over to see how my friend was doing. The poor guy was cradling his left arm and clutching at his chest.

"Kilian… I'm sorry", I said. I felt awful, I hadn't known the effects would carry over to real life.

"I'm fine", he said, wincing. "I would have done the same thing to you."

I nodded before turning to find the others gathered in front of a large screen on the wall across from the door. It was split into 6 squares showing views from what I assumed were the other students participating. 2 of them were black, mine and Kilian's while another pair were involved in a melee and the other 2 seemed to be stationary.

Jorge was standing at the center of the screen, intently watching the 2 students in combat. It was Julian and Phil. They were fighting on a catwalk in what looked like a factory, both using Skana's. It was a fight Phil was losing. He might have been the best with a gun, but Julian was much better when things got close. Julian had been able to gash Phil's forehead and blood was pouring from the wound into Phil's eyes. I could tell the fight was almost over. Phil tried to thrust at Julian, a desperate move that had no chance of landing. Julian parried the strike before feinting towards Phil's left and coming back across, leaving a long cut on the younger student's chest.

Phil reeled backwards while Julian advanced. He swung again, this one blocked by Phil, but Julian let go of his sword with his left and followed the blocked strike with a hook to Phil's jaw. It was easy to see the blow disoriented my friend. The next strike was a thrust through Phil's chest and the fight was over.

The final pair finished 10 minutes later with Joshua wandering into the other student's sights. I fought Katrina and 3 others that day, none of them ending as interestingly as my first match. I took fewer chances as the fights went on, was quicker to evaluate situations and for the most part stayed calm throughout. Watching the others fight was almost as educational as my own. I learned Kilian was fantastic at tracking down his opponent it seemed like he was just drawn to them. Katrina was the best at evading the other students. From what I saw Julian and I were the best combatants. We didn't fight the first day, so I didn't know who was better but neither of us had much trouble dispatching the other students. Kilian, Katrina and one other seemed to be just behind us, Kilian gave me the most trouble but Katrina was just as competent, if not as accurate in combat. I was sure all of this would change as time went on; it was only the first day of combat training.

"Tomorrow before we begin", Jorge said before dismissing us to go to martial arts practice, "you will each tell me what your most glaring shortcomings are. You will not continue until I am satisfied you are able to self-evaluate in a combat situation."

All throughout martial arts I was thinking about what I'd done wrong during the combat sims. During my fight against Kilian, rushing him like I had was reckless. He very easily could have been waiting for me when I was crossing the street, managed to hit me when he exited the stairwell or either time I moved across the entrance. I'd done the exact thing Antwan told us not to; the same thing that had gotten Samuel killed. A hard whack on my head brought me out of my musings. I'd been sparring with Kilian using wooden swords and it _hurt_.

"Damn man", I said rubbing my head, "was that payback?" I could feel a welt forming.

"Yes", he said pointedly.

I smiled and motioned for him to continue.

"I thought you said you would have done the same", I said as we fought.

"That doesn't mean I don't hold it against you."

After a moment, I'd beaten him and made sure to rap him across the ribcage, hard.

"Whoops, now it looks like you own me another one."

He sneered at me before taking up his stance again. We spent another half hour sparring before our session was over and it was time for dinner. Hours passed as we discussied our combat practice in the commons. The first thing I did was ask Kilian about his tracking ability.

"I think of the most likely places someone would be, you know, based off of the environment and situation", he said after thinking for a moment. "Then I look for signs of occupation."

"You make it sound so easy", I said. "How did you find me?"

"Well since it was the first time any of us had done anything like this, I thought the first place someone would go is high ground to get an idea of what the battlefield looked like. You were in the tallest building around me and I spotted you while you were looking around on the roof."

"Oh. I guess I made it a little too easy for you then."

"Pfft, what about _you_ and that stunt you pull at the entrance to the apartments", Katrina said.

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking about it. Had I, I probably wouldn't have done it."

"That roll was pretty sweet", Kilian said, "a little risky though."

"Yeah, I got lucky. I would have lost had I not hit you the first time. How did you know I was waiting for you at the door?"

"Reflection off of the windows at the back of the room."

"Oh, didn't know there were windows in there."

"At least you didn't do anything stupid in your other matches", Kilian said.

"I guess but I need to get better at tracking. I got lucky finding you, and Katrina found me."

"You still beat her", Phil said.

Katrina stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. I gave Phil a small smile; he'd lost all 4 of his matches.

"Well, that doesn't change what I said. I can be good at fighting but if I can't find my opponent it doesn't really matter. And Katrina, you need to show me how you're so damn slippery."

"We'll trade: you teach me how you fight so much better in there than you do in real life and I'll teach you how to sneak."

I shot her an irritated expression before nodding.

"Doesn't this feel a little strange", Phil asked.

"What do you mean", Kilian replied.

"I mean, would you have imagined we'd be here?"

I thought about that for a moment. Back when we began I knew what my end goal was but Phil was right, I never really thought about, or imagined myself being a combatant. Up until now it had always been something to work towards and even though we were just fighting in simulations, it was close enough to the real thing. It was tangible. I thought back to that day, Jacob and I in the office when I had my idea; all I'd seen in front of me then was the journey to joining the Tenno, I hadn't actually seen myself there. Now though, I saw how all I'd been through over the past 5 years could come together and produce some of the best warriors in the galaxy.

"I know what you mean", I said. "I hadn't imagined I'd be what I am now when I arrived. At the time I'd just been looking for something to do, some purpose for my life. Now that purpose is a tangible, achievable thing. Still got a lot of work to do though."

"Well", Katrina said, "we still have 2 years left."

"I know we agreed to always focus on the task they'd put in front of us, but what do you think is next", Kilian asked.

I had no idea. I didn't think the combat training would end any time soon but what _would_ be next?

"I don't know about you guys", Phil said, "but I hope it's whatever they do to their bodies to make them 'Tenno'. We've been in this dojo for 5 years. I'm getting tired of seeing the same rooms every day."

"Yeah", Katrina said, "the monotony is wearing thin, but think of it this way: they've provided food, shelter, an education and training for free. A few years isn't that bad."

When she said "free" I flinched.

"Nothing is free", I said. "None of us truly chose to be here did we? We were all forced to come here through one circumstance or another. After we've joined them, we are going to be beholden to their order, the same way they are. I'd say we pay plenty for this."

There was a short silence before Katrina responded.

"I know, but is our service such a bad thing? It at least gives purpose to people who would have either drifted or died otherwise."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing but I don't think any of us should fool ourselves into thinking this was strictly their generosity."

"Anyways", Kilian said, "maybe we should go back to our assignment."

Phil nodded eagerly while Katrina and I gazed at one another. It wasn't the first time we'd butted heads.

Kilian and Phil did most of the talking over the next few minutes. I couldn't come up with anything other than my… reckless nature. I said as much to the others.

"You're awareness sucks", Katrina stated. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Go on."

"Not noticing the windows at the back of that lobby. How about in our match: you left several places unchecked while searching the school for me. Had you been thorough, finding me wouldn't have been very difficult. Kilian would have."

"I see. I guess, I will just have to work with Kilian on it while you find some way to improve _your_ ability to take advantage of that. If I remember correctly, I still beat you."

"How astute of you. Would you like to make any other obvious remarks?"

"That's enough you two", Kilian said, sighing. "We're here to work together."

"At least neither of you have to say 'everything' like I do", Phil said.

I pat my friend on the back.

"That's why we're all here: none of us are perfect and we've got plenty of time to improve. This is our first time doing this, give it some time."

Conversing for another hour or so before retiring, I couldn't help but think about what Phil had planted in my mind. I was excited: the goal I'd dedicated the last half decade to was a real thing now. It might still be a few years off, but I could finally see the finish line.


	10. Fighting Spirit

**A/N: So sorry about the delay on this chapter. I kept rewriting it because I wasn't satisfied but I think it turned out well. I still plan on taking a break after this one to make sure the next part of the story is in order. Like I said some pretty huge things are about to happen. As always enjoy and review.**

The next morning Jorge seemed satisfied with our analyses of yesterday's fighting.

"All of you were able to recognize the most glaring issues with your execution, well done", the Tenno said. "Over the next few weeks, we will check back in periodically as you improve and I want you to begin looking for more subtle flaws as we go on. The more minute issues aren't necessarily of less consequence. You must acknowledge and rectify them if you are to become an effective combatant."

This time I watched the first round of matches. Most interesting was Kilian fighting Julian. Other than me, Kilian had little trouble with his competition; that was both due to his ability to track the other students down and his awareness in a fight. Julian was similar to me: he was intuitive and an excellent combatant. I don't think being intuitive was a bad thing but as Kilian showed, it also paid to be cerebral during a fight.

The two of them started in a jungle this time. So the environments would be different today as well; the prior arenas had all been some form of urban: a cityscape, suburban neighborhood, or in Phillip's case yesterday, a factory.

As usual, Kilian was able to track down Julian after about 15 minutes. It was uncanny, my friend almost seemed drawn to his opponent.

Julian seemed to catch onto Kilian quickly though because soon enough they both began firing at one another through the thick foliage. Neither scored hits, but Kilian had more than a few close calls. At one point a burst from Julian shaved the bark off of a tree a few inches from his chest, but Kilian was calm throughout the engagement. His innate composure was something I envied. His Latron was well suited for the way he fought: methodical and precise.

I was not so secretly hoping Kilian would win. Julian and I had formed a pseudo rivalry over the years.

Neither was able to gain an advantage over the other. They moved through forest, occasionally firing at each other. It was clear Julian was trying to get away from Kilian, maybe to set a trap or perform a flanking maneuver. My friend wasn't having any of it though; he wasn't letting Julian get more than 10 or 15 meters from him. The pursuit lasted another few minutes while Kilian pressed and Julian ran.

The chase ended when Kilian abruptly stopped near the edge of a small clearing. Julian had disappeared on the other side and was waiting for Kilian to move into the open. Instead of entering the clearing he skirted the barren area and began searching for the other student once again. The silence was strange after the consistent sound of gunfire which had pervaded since the two met. Kilian searched for another few minutes while I'd noticed Julian's point of view remained stationary in a cluster of trees. I couldn't tell if they were close but Julian was prepared for an ambush.

Then Kilian did something strange: stopped, picked up a large branch and broke it over his knee. After several minutes of silence, the snap sounded like a gunshot. Julian shifted his position, searching for the sound's origin. The rustling he'd made was just loud enough to reach Kilian. My friend slowly crept forward until he was taking cover behind a tree, watching the direction Julian's rustling had come from.

It took a moment, but I recognized the undergrowth Kilian watched as the one Julian hid in. I don't know how Kilian guessed but it seemed he knew as well. Kilian raised the Latron, leveled it at the foliage under the cluster of trees and squeezed off a round.

Had Julian been standing, the projectile would have taken his head off. As it was, the bullet zipped a few centimeters over him. Julian scrambled backwards, firing at Kilian trying to get away. Kilian moved up and I thought the game of cat and mouse would begin again but this time Julian changed tact. He circled back around and came to an undergrowth next to Kilian. The other student knew he was there but before Kilian could fire at him, Julian lunged out of the brush and smacked into my friend.

The two tumbled to the ground in a pile of tangled legs and arms. Kilian managed to free himself and rolled away from the other student. He'd dropped the Latron so Kilian unholstered his sidearm, a Lato, and came up to a crouching position. Again, before he could fire Julian was back on him, this time with his Skana drawn. Kilian sidestepped the first strike and dove away from the second. As he came up from his roll, Kilian switched the Lato to his left hand and drew what looked like a shorter Skana with his right.

Julian didn't seem to see the Lato in Kilian's left hand; he advanced on the other student again, thrusting towards Kilian's right side. Kilian blocked the thrust as well as the follow up slash before finally knocking the sword aside. At the same time he brought the Lato up and fired. Julian registered the weapon right before it discharged and managed to move off, but not enough for the round to miss. The small caliber slug struck him just inside his right shoulder.

Julian fell to the ground, clutching at the hole in his chest. Kilian didn't give him the opportunity to recover; the handgun discharged once more. This time the round took Julian in the center of the forehead and the fight was over.

I didn't know what made me happier: that Julian had lost or Kilian had won. It was the first time I'd seen his ingenuity first hand. His creativity was only surpassed by his innate ability to track down his opponent. I was truly impressed by the display.

I hadn't even been paying attention to the other 2 matches which were still on going. Phil was fighting Katrina and Joshua fought Cameron. Phil was chasing Katrina through what looked like a farmhouse from the old 'westerns' my dad used to watch. Katrina had lost her primary weapon and was blindly firing at Phil with a Viper. Phil seemed composed as he ducked behind cover or dove out of the way of each incoming barrage. Eventually the 2 wound up in the loft filled with boxes and barrels they used as cover. My other two friends engaged in close quarters combat, both using sidearms, but after the adrenaline rush of Kilian's fight it was fairly uneventful.

Suddenly I found Kilian standing next to me watching Katrina and Phil fight.

"Nicely done", I whispered. "That trick with your sidearm, incredible."

"Thanks. Wish you hadn't seen it."

"You think I'd have fallen for it?"

"Guess we'll never know."

"Hmm."

Phil and Katrina had each wounded the other: Katrina had taken a round to her left upper arm and Phil was hobbled with a hole in his left thigh. They must have been out of ammo because they were stalking each other prepared for a melee with weapons drawn.

The fight was drawn out for a few minutes but again, wasn't all that interesting with both of them suffering from injuries. It ended as I had expected: Katrina victorious. I felt bad for Phillip but there would be plenty of time to help him improve. Joshua and Cameron had finished a few minutes prior so Jorge chose the next 6 combatants, this time I would be participating while Kilian, Katrina, Cameron, and Julian sat out.

"Watch how it's done", I said to Kilian before placing the helmet over my head.

I'd elected to stay with the same weapons throughout the prior day but I wanted to switch it up this time. My primary was a Braton, a very light and compact bullpup automatic assault rifle which fired small caliber rounds. It has a high rate fire and almost no recoil. Reliable, accurate and easy to use. I stuck with the Lex as my sidearm and decided on a short bladed Ether Sword. The weapon was one of the more exotic bladed instruments used by the Tenno. I didn't know how it was made, but the blade was incredibly durable and light with a razor sharp edge. I'm not a huge fan of wielding it two handed, I prefer weapons with some heft, but for one handed use it was the perfect weight.

This time I was deposited in a town which had long ago been overrun by foliage and trees. I won my first fight handily that day, it probably didn't last for more than 15 minutes. The second one was against Joshua who didn't put up much more of a fight. After that I fought Phil. I felt bad for him; I could tell he was giving it everything he could, and I tried to give him a few chances I wouldn't normally present but he needed a lot of practice. I decided I'd do everything I could to help him over the coming months. I couldn't see him fail, it would probably hurt me as much as it would him.

The last fight of the day, against Cameron, was a challenge. For the most part I'd only used my Braton for the first 3 fights but Cameron forced me into close quarters combat in a smaller townhouse with us both using swords. In the end I won but he was able to score a few hits on me before I did.

That left Julian and one other the next day. The night that followed was similar to the prior one: after martial arts, we all spent a few hours talking about the day's matches in the commons. Several other students wanted to talk to Kilian about his improvised dual wielding maneuver with the Lato and Skana and the finale of his fight against Julian. I don't think anyone else expected Julian to lose a match. I'd beat him tomorrow as well. He might have 4 years on me but I think when all is said and done, I'm a better combatant than him. Watching his matches it's easy to tell he's overconfident. He lost to Kilian because he didn't adjust when it was obvious his first attacks didn't put Kilian on the defensive. Had Julian changed tact, maybe gone back to a ranged fight since Kilian had lost his rifle, he might have won. Julian believes he can fight however he likes and his skill will carry him through.

"Any tips on beating him", I asked Kilian after another student, this time Joshua, congratulated him.

"You'd think I won the Slot Cup with how many congratulations I've gotten", he mumbled, smiling. "I think you'll beat him. If you pressure Julian, he isn't a very good shot. He's creative but the guy doesn't hid what he's trying to do very well so it ends up being a fairly straight forward fight. You've got good instincts, trust them."

"I just wish I had your improvisational talent."

"Well", Kilian said through a yawn, stretching. "Not everyone can be as good as me."

I laughed at him.

"Didn't I beat you?"

"Best 2 out of 3?"

We both laughed until Phil and Katrina approached our table. Once they had done their round of congratulations for Kilian, we resumed talking about the day's fights. Phil won his last two fights of the day against, Joshua and another while Katrina won all but her fight with Julian. I felt my fighting was much sounder than the first day. All of my matches, save the fight against Cameron, were actually fairly boring. Katrina even gave me a compliment.

"You didn't look as amateurish as you did yesterday. If you fight a bit better tomorrow you might even be able to beat Julian."

Well… a backhanded compliment.

"Your ringing endorsement warms my soul", I said. "Do you have any other expert advice?"

"No. That's all you get for free."

I sneered at her before Phillip spoke.

"Do you think I did better today", he asked.

"Yeah", I replied, "I thought you were much more composed in the matches I saw. Hell if Katrina hadn't gotten lucky with that last strike you probably would have beaten her."

I gave Katrina and innocent smile, but before she could reply Kilian spoke up.

"Disparaging comments aside, you did very well. Like Chris said, you stayed calm throughout. Yesterday it seemed like when the fights neared their end you would get anxious, tighten up and that would lead to you losing."

"One thing I think you should focus on for the time being", I continued, "is firing on the move. You're a good shot when stationary but if things begin to get fast your aim erodes a bit."

"I might need help with that", Phil replied.

"Sure thing", Katrina said.

That night I could think of nothing but fighting Julian.

"It's not a big deal. It's the 3rd day of combat and it's just a simulation", I said. I could tell myself that as many times as I liked but truth was I _wanted_ to beat Julian. I wanted to prove I was the best in combat. I guess that isn't necessarily a bad thing, competitiveness breeds results, but I feel like a true Tenno would not think like that. I fell asleep fighting those feelings.

The next day back in the VI room, my first fight was not against Julian but that was fine by me; the type of environment changed yet again. This time we were on what looked like a ship. The only time I'd ever seen anything like it was Samuel's last mission footage; we were on a Corpus vessel.

I'd chosen the same loadout as the day before which was well suited for this type of environment. I took my first contest slow, making sure I was careful and attentive. I didn't want to make a simple mistake which cost me the fight.

I sat out the next session, but finally it was my turn to fight Julian. I expected to be nervous but my heart wasn't trying to beat out of my chest, my stomach wasn't knotted and my muscles were loose. I was ready.

I stayed with the same loadout: Braton, Lex, and Ether Sword. I found myself standing in a very different setting. It still looked like a ship, but bulbous, ugly construction replaced the simple, streamlined design of the Corpus.

"Grineer", I muttered. They were the only ones who would make something this ugly. I felt sorrow and anger well up in my chest. I was again taken back to the day these freaks attacked my home.

"Not now." I swallowed my anger and revulsion and focused on my task at hand. It would be almost impossible to track Julian in here, so I would basically just have to search for the other student until I found him. I'd have to be careful not to run into an ambush; there were plenty of places to hide in the ship. The design was extremely wasteful; there were unusable spaces in every room due to how they were laid out, but that would provide plenty of places to stage a trap.

I searched from room to room for Julian. Luckily the ship had a fairly linear layout; there weren't many pathways to move about. The problem was I had no idea how large the ship would be, so I just continued to search.

Eventually, I came to the bottom floor of a large, open room with several different levels consisting of platforms around the edges and a few suspended in the center, catwalks and ladders connecting them all. Some had machinery on them which would provide cover, but many were empty stages. A few minutes into searching when I was 4 levels above the ground, I heard the soft 'whoosh' of a door opening. I immediately scrambled to cover, looking for the source of the noise.

It came from above me on the opposite side of the room. I could see the door was still open so he either left something to keep it open or he hadn't moved out of the doorway yet. I decided to get a better view of the opening, so I quickly climbed up a ladder to the platform above me.

I was still a level under the door so I couldn't see into it very well, but I didn't want to risk moving up another floor. As I waited the silence settled like a thick cloud, suffocating me. I felt my heart rate pick up and my palms start sweating. "Deep breaths", I whispered.

After what felt like an hour, but in all likelihood the pause was no more than a minute or so, the door whooshed closed. I couldn't tell if Julian had entered the room or not. Just in case, I raised the Braton, set my sights on the edge of the platform and waited. My pulse was pounding in my ears like a drumbeat.

Another minute passed when I saw movement out of my peripheral vision. By the time I'd turned to the motion it was gone. I slowly stalked to the edge of the platform, vigilant for any more movement. After another moment I could hear the subtle ringing of boots on a ladder. Julian was definitely in here. He must have been climbing down from where I'd seen him because the path to the platform above him provided no cover.

He was descending to a platform one level above mine with catwalks connecting it to others arranged around the room. I couldn't stay where I was, there was no cover here and he had the benefit of being higher. Before I could change position though, I saw the older student emerge at the end of the platform. I didn't think, I just raised my rifle and squeezed the trigger.

Julian must have seen me right before I had because the rounds sailed through the space he'd occupied a moment before. I had to move. I turned and sprinted towards the edge of the platform I was on, directly away from Julian. There was another platform directly below this one. If I could get to it, I would have some cover between Julian and myself.

As I neared the edge I dropped into a slide. Twisting as I went over the edge, I grabbed onto the end of the platform with all of my strength and swung myself back under it, towards the one below. Julian fired just as I disappeared, rounds whizzing behind my back. I landed in a roll before popping up, sprinting under Julian's position. There was no way I'd be able to climb to his level which left either finding another route upstairs or finding a way to make him come down.

There was an exit at the back of the platform but I had no idea where a set stairs would be. I couldn't tell if Julian had moved but he had the advantage in here, I couldn't confront him under these circumstances.

"Dammit", I muttered before exiting the large room. I didn't want to run but staying there would be idiotic.

I searched for a staircase that might lead me to the upper floors. It didn't take as long to find as I thought it would; the entrance was set into the wall in a hallway branching off from the platform's exit. I carefully climbed the stairs, alert for any noise or movement. I climbed to the floor above where I'd seen Julian last and exited the staircase, hoping he'd stayed where he was, waiting for me; it had only been about 2 minutes since I first saw him.

Emerging onto the new level I saw this one was largely occupied by oddly shaped and sized computers. I was directly above where Julian had been so I had to find a position I could-. My thought was interrupted when gunfire exploded out of nowhere. I scrambled for cover as I tried to figure out where Julian was. He must have anticipated me getting to higher ground.

I glimpsed Julian firing again from the platform to my left as I slid behind a bank of computers. Rounds peppered my cover as I tried to figure out how to gain the upper hand. This was better than when I'd been below Julian; that would have been a shooting gallery.

At a pause in the barrage, I stuck my Braton over the computers and began firing at Julian. Once the bolt locked open I swapped magazines before leaning out to the right side of the computer banks, aiming towards the older student's position. No sign of him. I waited a few heartbeats before leaving my cover and advancing towards him, hugging the wall to my left. As I neared the catwalk connecting the two platforms I stepped back into cover behind a pillar set in the wall.

He was waiting for me to step onto that walkway; there was no cover and the moment I did I was finished.

At least that's what I thought. Suddenly I heard Julian sprinting across the Catwalk towards me. I couldn't get my rifle up fast enough; he emerged around my cover and opened fire. I dove out of the way as rounds mangled the face of the pillar. I tried to roll and regain my footing but Julian was right there to meet me. He put his shoulder into my chest, knocking me back to the ground but before he could shoot me I swept Julian's legs out and he landed next to me, both of our rifles skittering away.

Julian went for his handgun but I rolled onto him and swung at his head, forcing him to defend. I tried to press but ended up overshooting a strike. With the opening he managed to land a shot just above my jaw. Stars were swimming in my eyes and before I knew it Julian had bucked me off and was fumbling for his sidearm again. I kicked his arm away and tried to get back on him but the other student rolled away and we both got to our feet.

As I closed on Julian I drew my sword and he responded likewise, brandishing a Skana. I engaged the melee by lunging for Julian's left hip. He parried and countered with a stab at my left shoulder then a swing across my torso. We fought to the edge of the platform where there was a 5 meter drop to the next one below. I managed to draw first blood when I knocked Julian's parry aside and sliced through the upper sleeve on his left arm. However, after another few seconds of fighting I found myself standing on the edge of the platform, Julian pressuring me.

I tried to gain some ground but he met every one of my moves. I couldn't help but think if I'd chosen a heavier sword I wouldn't be in trouble. Had I gone with the Orthos this fight would probably be over. As it was, the light weight of the Ether blade was disrupting my timing; I couldn't get into a rhythm with it.

Julian wasn't letting me off of the ledge but he still couldn't land a strike. My opponent was getting frustrated, maybe I just had to wait him out. He thrust once more, but this time he went too far. I sidestepped right and parried the strike. Yes he went too far his weight was forward, leaning towards me, all I had to do was-, then I realized the strike was not a mistake. When I'd sidestepped I'd put most of my weight on my left foot which was closest to the edge. Julian twisted and rammed his left shoulder into my right, knocking me off balance. He pushed off with his sword and there was nothing I could do.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I fell over the edge of the platform. I regained enough sense as I fell to parry one last thrust he sent my way before I tumbled over, but I was still in serious trouble.

I twisted in the air, intending to land feet first and roll but I came down awkward. More weight was over my right leg then I intended and as I tried to roll I came down hard on my right side. I lost grip of my Ether Sword and it skittered over the side of the platform. Cursing, I clambered for cover just in case Julian was going to open fire.

My shoulder was on fire, I couldn't tell if it was dislocated or damaged but for the moment I couldn't move it without pain lancing through my chest. Worse than that was now I was down to my Lex, a weapon I could not wield properly with one good arm; the recoil was too much.

At least I wouldn't have to go looking for Julian now though; he would press this advantage for sure. I slowly stood, trying to keep my right arm pinned to my side and drew my handgun. Firing with my off hand was something I'd practiced plenty but that was always with a Lato which was considerably less powerful.

I stumbled over to the platform's exit and peeked through. Gunfire was what greeted me. It wasn't automatic though which meant Julian hadn't recovered his rifle. That's something I guess. The only thing I could do was move back out and take cover. This time it was behind a couple of crates. I didn't know if they was anything in them or if they would stop a round; hoping was a major part of my strategy now.

Aiming wasn't difficult with my left hand but I didn't know how well I would be able to control the Lex's kick. I trained my sights on the entrance to the platform and a few seconds later Julian's head popped out and I fired. The shock from the Lex ripped through my arm and sent the round way wide; it hit the wall a half meter above the door.

A moment later Julian came out firing. His shots peppered the other side of my cover but none of them made it through. Sweet, a little good news. Shifting my right arm, pain stabbed my shoulder but nowhere near as much as it had. It was still throbbing and I couldn't lift it past 45 degrees but it was something. I just didn't know what I could do. Julian had stopped firing but I knew the moment I tried to change position I'd be dead.

What do I do? I've been on the defense for the majority of this fight. While that isn't a huge issue for me, I can do both equally well, Julian is an offensive fighter and I haven't been able to take advantage of that.

"I guess it's time to change that", I whispered. I had no other options besides getting aggressive; if I waited for him, he'd whoop me at this point. With a crippled arm and weapon I couldn't use at range there would be no way I won trying to play defensively.

First thing first, I had to find him. Standing I poked my head out to the right of the crate. I glimpsed Julian taking cover behind what looked like a large bench 5 meters away before ducking back when the other student fired at me. Readying my sidearm I came out of the left side, straight at Julian, firing. I had no chance of hitting him but I just needed him to take cover. He did for a moment before trying to take a pop shot at me. I rolled to my left, careful not to aggravate my shoulder any more; I'd need it. When I was a meter from Julian's cover the older student popped back up and tried to aim at me but I was too close for him to get a clean shot. I ducked to the side and vaulted over the waist high bench.

Julian drew his Skana and advanced on me. If he could keep me at arm's length I had no chance. I had two rounds left in my magazine and at this range I would have no chance to reload so I couldn't risk missing. As Julian reached me I ducked his first swipe and sidestepped his follow up thrust. At most I had 3 or 4 more strikes before Julian landed something, so I had to make a move.

The next attack was a feint at my right side followed by an upwards cut. That was my opening; he'd used the exact same move against Phil. As he finished the strike there was a split second his guard would be wide enough for me step in.

I took a half step back to avoid the blow and right before move ended I lunged forwards, clearing the Skana and ramming my left shoulder into the older student's chest. He stumbled but didn't fall like I'd hoped. Julian brought the sword back around. He couldn't get the blade on me but before I could block it he slammed the hilt into my right shoulder. I'd never felt pain like that before; my right side felt like it had been dipped in molten metal. My vision flashed red as the edges dimmed and I cried out in pain.

I fought to regain my focus; my left hand still clung to the Lex but my right arm hung uselessly from my side. Julian took a step back and thrust the Skana at my chest. The blade almost seemed to be moving in slow motion.

There was only one thing I could do; I twisted to my left and raised my sidearm. It wasn't enough to make Julian miss, his Skana piercing my chest just inside my right shoulder. As it did though, Julian's chest was centered in my sights. As pain racked my body I squeezed the trigger.

I didn't see the round's effect but the blade stayed lodged in my chest as I fell to the ground. I couldn't function anymore, the pain in my shoulder was too much. My body was engulfed in agony and my mind was too preoccupied trying to manage it.

I was enveloped by pain for what felt like an eternity; there was no escaping it.

Then I heard someone call my name. It wasn't loud, like a ripple in the ocean of my pain, but it was there. I tried to focus on those ripples. I heard it again, and again. The voice sounded urgent, worried. I fought to concentrate on that voice.

"CHRIS!"

I jolted awake and found myself lying down on the floor of the VI room surrounded by the other students, save Julian. I groaned as my right side throbbed.

"How do you feel", Katrina said; she'd been calling my name.

"Terrible", I croaked.

Jorge was standing behind Katrina and Phil wearing a look of genuine concern.

"I'll be alright sir", I said. "I just need some time."

He nodded.

"Can you stand", the Tenno asked.

"Maybe." I sat up gingerly, keeping my right arm pinned to my side. Phil helped me to my feet and walked me back to my room.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Would you mind just… talking for a while?"

Phil nodded. There was nothing I really wanted to discuss but I'd felt so alone while I was unconscious the last thing I wanted to do was spend the rest of the day by myself.

"Thank you."


	11. Cracks Appear

**A/N: The break was longer than I intended it to be but I'm back. I know you guys don't want to hear my life's story so I won't bore you with it but I hope to get back to my weekly updates. Expect the next chapter to be out around Monday, Dec 6th. As always review and enjoy!**

After fetching a pack of ice for my shoulder, Phil sat at my desk while I laid in bed.

"It still hurt", Phil asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Don't be a baby."

"How 'bout I push you off a cliff, then stab you and see how _you_ feel."

"It was just a simulation."

"So?"

"Pain is neutered."

"Ah you're just sour you couldn't beat Julian."

"I don't know if I'd call that winning."

"A win is a win", I said with a smile. Phillip shook his head, laughing.

"I guess."

A short silence followed. We were trying to lighten the mood with banter but it was obvious neither of us were into it. The pain in my shoulder was still debilitating and I could tell something was weighing on Phil's mind.

"What's up", I asked. Phil let out a deep sigh and gazed at me with sad eyes.

"Do you still think about your family?"

I swallowed hard. It occurred to me I hadn't thought about them in a few months. I wanted to say I was too preoccupied but that was just an excuse. They _were_ the catalyst for this after all. How could I forget about that?

"I haven't for a while; thanks for reminding me…"

"You still use them as motivation?"

"In a way, I guess you could say that. It's changed though." I sat up, "I think before I was using them as an excuse more than a reason. Now it's… broader than that. I used to think I wanted to protect people from the Grineer, but I've been thinking for a while now: I don't want to just keep others from becoming like me, I want to start a change in the system. People shouldn't need to worry about having their world turned upside down like that."

"But the Grineer killing your family is what started all of this."

I winced at the way he said that. Even though it had been 5 and a half years, the memories of that day were still quite fresh. And painful. I was curious though; Phillip had heard my story several times.

"Where are you going with this Phil?"

"I just…" He paused; I could see him struggling with something.

"I don't have any motivation like that. I'm just here because the Tenno were the ones who rescued me from the slave camps. It's the same in this Dojo though: I'm just following along. You, Katrina, most of the other students have motivation, a reason for being here. All I ever do is follow someone else. It was either the Corpus or the Tenno."

"You don't think growing up a slave is motivation enough? Changing that doesn't drive you?"

"I didn't lose anything like everyone else, I just got unlucky."

I shook my head. It hurt to hear him say that.

"Phil, no one should be a slave. That isn't a matter of being unlucky, I could say I'm unlucky because my home was attacked. It's taken a lot of effort and discipline to get here, commitment that most people don't have."

"The only reason I do that is because I have nowhere else to go, nothing else to do. If I leave here, I leave everything that has become familiar to me and you know how good I am at meeting new people. When I came here I just followed, you mostly, because that's all I knew and now I feel stuck here."

"You've done this because you don't have a choice? Phil, if your fear of new things was the _only_ thing keeping you going you wouldn't have made it anywhere near this far. I think it's fair to say you've lost a lot."

I stood and walked to my dresser, keeping my right arm as immobile as possible. Taking Buffy out of his drawer I handed the stuffed animal to Phillip before continuing.

"You never had the chance to have a family; the Corpus took that from you. You never got to have a childhood. That little dog is all I have of my life before coming here but at least I was able to have one worth remembering. You were deprived of that. I think it counts as losing something."

"How can you lose something you never had?"

"You can lose something you're entitled to."

"Why am I entitled to anything?"

"I think everyone is entitled to a good childhood. Phil I don't know how else to tell you you're worth more than you seem to think. You didn't deserve to be a slave, no one does. You're not any less valuable than anyone else, especially not because of your 'reason' for being here."

There was a knock on my door as I finished.

"Come in."

The partition slid open to reveal Kilian and Katrina waiting on the other side. I sat down on the bed and waved them in with my left arm.

Kilian handed each of us a tray of food before sitting against the wall.

"How are you doing", he asked.

"Ice is helping but it still hurts like hell."

"I guess what I said about you being less reckless was wrong", Katrina said.

"I didn't have much a choice."

"Yeah sure."

"Katrina… Whatever, that's not important right now. Phil, we need to finish this conversation."

"Not now, please", he pleaded.

"It's not something you should keep to yourself. That's just going to fester and hurt you if you don't get it out of the way. We all rely on you man; we can't have you lose it."

"Don't patronize me", Phil shouted, jumping from his seat.

"All I'm trying to do is help Phil; at the very least you're worth that."

"What's going on", Katrina asked.

I recounted our conversation before they arrived, all the while Phillip sat with a pained expression. Katrina and Kilian traded looks. Silence pervaded for a few moments before Kilian finally spoke up.

"That's not fair to do to yourself. You have as much a right to be here as anyone else. I… Why wouldn't you want to keep what happened to you from happening to anyone else?"

"I don't know", Phillip replied.

"Do you want to change that?"

"Yeah."

"Reason enough don't you think?"

Phillip paused for a while, mulling that over. I thought he still didn't look satisfied but he nodded after a moment. Kilian looked like he wanted to say something else but Katrina was the next one to talk.

"Phil, all you need to know is you've got people here who care about you."

Kilian and I nodded our agreement.

"At the end of the day", I said, "that's what matters right now. Let the other stuff come when it does. I know I can say we all think a lot of you."

My friend stared at the ground between his feet, his face impassive.

"Anyways, you don't need a _reason_ to want to do this beyond the desire to help people", I continued.

"Why do you think that's why I'm doing this", he asked.

"Because that's you Phil." My mind flashed back to seeing his slight figure waiting for me to finish with my meditation during our classes. Whenever someone asked for help with meditation techniques or sparring practice or weapons training, he was the first one to offer his.

"You help people. Whether or not you want to admit it, you enjoy making other people's lives easier. When I said we all rely on you I wasn't trying to be patronizing we all count on you to be the first person we can ask if we need someone. That's not something you can say about most people."

"Don't worry too much about why other people are here either", Katrina said. "That has no bearing on whether or not any of us deserve to be here. What makes us deserving of this chance is how we use it; so far I think you've used it in the right way."

Phillip sat quietly, leaning forward, hands clasped as he stared at the ground between his feet. I hope he was hearing this; the last thing I wanted was to see this consume my friend.

The silence persisted for a long time, all of us quiet and motionless. The pounding in my shoulder thankfully began to lessen. I tried flexing it and, thankfully, no new pain flared. Maybe my body was realizing it wasn't actually damaged.

"I don't know if I _want_ to believe what you guys are saying", Phillip said suddenly. "It's not just that I don't feel like I deserve to be here; I feel I might not belong here. I mean, who am I to decide how other people's lives change? That's what we're trying to become right? A powerful force of change? I don't know if I feel comfortable with what the Tenno do."

THAT piqued my interest. I'd never thought about the morals behind what the Tenno do.

"Explain a bit more", Kilian said.

"Well… they're mercenaries. Very good ones and, from what I've gathered, whoever they decide to side with wins. Essentially that means they are making choices which affect the lives of people who never wanted their lives to change. And speaking of them being mercenaries, why have we so readily accepted we will be expected to kill? I don't know if my questions of what we are expected to do spawned from my doubts about why I am here or vice versa… I've just been so confused for the past few months."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner", I asked.

"I didn't know how to say it."

I took a few minutes to think about what he'd said. Of all the people here I should be the one to question how the Tenno operate; Antwan was, indirectly, responsible for the attack on my habitat. He still hasn't told me what he was doing there, but if I had to guess I'd say the Tenno was on a mission. To this point I still knew nothing of their motives, morals or goals. I merely knew they were among the most powerful fighting forces out there. I don't know if I'd be averse to killing enemy combatants though. Guess I wouldn't until I was in that position.

"I'd say", Kilian began, "there's no point in worrying about the 'why's' right now. We are here and have nowhere else to go. If in any event we decide we no longer agree with what we are doing here, they've shown they are willing to let us leave."

Phil slowly nodded his agreement.

"As for your reason for being here", I said, "I can't tell you not to worry about that, but you should think higher of yourself; other people do."

"Okay guys I get it", Phil said, his face flush, "now can we move onto something else?"

"How about that fight", Kilian said.

"What about it", Katrina snorted, "he just got lucky."

"Oh come on give the guy some credit", Phil replied.

"For what? He should have lost."

"And if I were you I would have", I said with a smile.

"If you were me you wouldn't have been in that situation."

"You're right. You would have been shot before you ever got a change to get close to him."

"Oh is that right?"

"Well you did lose to Julian, Kilian and I so there's a precedent..."

"Of making stupid decisions like you?"

"At least those stupid decisions lead to me winning."

"Like I said: you just got lucky."

"That's a lot of getting lucky. You do know the statistical chance of it happening for all 10 of my fights is astronomical right?"

"Crazier things have happened."

"Like you beating me? Oh wait… that didn't happen."

"Holy... Do Kilian and I need to leave or…", Phil said.

"I know right", Kilian laughed, "you two argue more than anyone I've ever met."

"That's not too many people bud", I said and we all started laughing.

"In all honesty though", Kilian said, "you don't make the best decisions all of the time. I'm curious how you are generally able to turn terrible situations around."

"I don't do a ton of thinking while I'm engaged. I'll plan movements and positioning out but once I'm in the middle of a fight I allow my instincts to take over."

"Well then I have to say they're damn good ones because I can confidently say once you fell off of that platform the fight should have been over."

"Like I said though, I wish I had your improvisational talent."

"You would take that over my ability to actually think while in combat."

"Not you too", I groaned.

"I'm being honest Chris; you really need to work on planning better. If you could combine that with your uncanny ability to turn any situation around…"

"You know, instead of that can I just have your tracking skills."

"No."

"Oh come on, I'll pay rent."

"Nope."

"I'm going to need more help than any of you", Phillip said.

"I think you'll turn out fine", Katrina said, "you are probably the coolest under pressure out of anyone here. I'd say you need to work on your aim while moving and swordplay. Once those are sorted you will be good."

"Just those things huh?"

"Good nerves are more valuable than either of those", Kilian said, "don't sell yourself short."

"Why haven't we said anything about Little Miss Perfect over here", I asked.

"Maybe because there's too much for her to work on. I don't know where to start", Kilian said.

I burst out laughing while Katrina glared at Kilian.

"What", Kilian asked, shrugging innocently.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"I think you need to be more patient", Phillip said. "You're too eager to jump in. That's how you lost your rifle when you were fighting me."

"I know. That's how I lost to Kilian too."

I thought for a moment before saying, "Patients and fluidity. I think those might go hand in hand but your movements doing almost everything are too rushed and jerky. It leads to poor aim, on top of inefficient gunplay and close quarters fighting."

"That sounds about right", Kilian said.

"Well we can get back to practicing tomorrow", Phil said looking at me.

"You guys don't have to wait for me. If everyone's practicing there will finally be an even number."

"You're going to sit here all day", Kilian asked.

"No I'll come watch. I can be your coach!"

Katrina shook her head, "oh because that's what we need."

"Well you sure do."

"HEY", Phillip shouted.

"What", Katrina asked.

"You're 18, he's 16. Why are you arguing with him?"

"Because-"

"It was rhetorical Katrina."

"How's your shoulder feeling", Kilian asked.

"Better, the edge has come off, now it's more of a throb."

"Good", he replied, "are you two done?"

Katrina and Phil nodded.

 **I know, I know. More character development when you wanted action. To be honest, this chapter was supposed to be about twice the length but I couldn't figure out how to do a smooth enough in chapter transition so I scrapped the idea and am just going to make the next chapter extra long. See you soon!**


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